Three Chumps & A Hero
.
"What wrong day it ha been," I say to myself as I stretch out on my couch. I look at my watch while I'm watching the Olympics and realize that it is 5:50 p.m. Oh crap, I'm going to be late to go pick up my daughter from swim class.
I grab my trusty camera in hopes of getting some candid shots of my daughter, I love my camera! I hop in the car and turn on the radio.
1, 2, 3, 4,
My baby don't mess around
Because she loves me so
and this I know for show
"I wrove tis song," I say to myself as I crank the volume up and start singing.
"don't try fight de feewrin
'cause the thought awrone
is kiwin' me white now"
I'm banging my steering wheel like a Cuban Drum as put my car into drive and pull out of my driveway.
Thank god for mommy & daddy
for stickin' two together
'cause we don't know how
"Heeeeeeeeeeeeeeey yaaaaaaa
heeey ya
"Heeeeeeeeeeeeeeey yaaaaaaa
heeey ya"
I'm feeling the music as I make my first turn onto a busy street.
but separate is always better
when there's feelings involved
ah alllll ah allllll
ah alllll ah allllll
"what say is nating is forever
then what wa wa wa, I make
then what wa wa, I dont know"
so why-o why-o
why-o why-o why-o
Are we so in denial
when we know we're not happy here?
Man, how I hate rush hour traffic. Don't these people have anything better to do than to sit in on the street and make me late? I turn down a side street so I don't get caught up in all the traffic lights ahead.
(dont want to meet your daddy)
"heeeeeeeeeeeey yaaaa"
(just want you in my caddy)
"heeey ya"
As I turn up the music cause I'm singing like I should be cutting a record deal while cruising at the speed limit, a kid darts out in front of me.....
SCREEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEECH
BOOM!!!
THUMP!!!
My car comes to a sudden stop with a motorized scooter underneath and a teenager about 10 feet from my car.
My car stereo is still blaring the Outkast song.
I wanna seeya'll on ur BADDDEST behavior
Lend me some sugar
I am your neighbor
Ah hear we go now
Shake it sh shake it
Shake it sh shake it....
I turn the car off and I see the kid rolling around in obvious pain. I start asking myself questions:
Was I going to fast? No!
Did I have time to stop? No!
Didn't he just come out of nowhere? YES!
After asking myself these series of questions I became irked, irritated ...I can't believe these reckless kids doing whatever they want without even looking to see if a car is coming!
I jump out of the car and run around towards the kid rolling around and yell excitedly, "What wong wit you? you not see me?"
While the kid is rolling around he says, "I'm sorry, I wasn't paying attention."
I hear someone shout in the distance, "Someone have a cell phone? Call 911!!!"
Then the reality sets in and I calm down a bit. "I can' t bewrieve I hit you, I see you lot of time here on street."
A crowd gathers around and I step aside.
After a few minutes I hear the sirens in the distance. After a few seconds they are visible as they turn down the street with the boy still laying in the street with some other guy standing over him and a lady blocking the sun from his eyes.
A motorcycle police officer pulls up.
He immediately tells the kid not to move and to leave his helmet on and the fire engine will be here any second.
While getting off of his motorcycle he asks in a demanding voice, "Who was driving this car?" as he points to my vehicle.
"I drive sir." I said stepping forward.
He tells me to wait over there and points to the sidewalk.
The dispatcher come over the radio about 1755 hours on August 24, 2004 for a 1181 ped. I click my radio and respond, "Control, Paul 10."
Dispatch - "Paul 10, go ahead."
Me - "Paul 10, 10-49 on the 1181 ped."
Dispatch - "Paul 10, 10-49 copy."
The call came in that a white male between the ages of 14-18 was struck by a moving vehicle. I go to Code-3 and turn my sirens on as I speed down the streets. Only slowing down as I come to intersections to make sure everyone is stopping so I don't become victim number two.
I raced down the street where the accident took place. As the scene becomes clearer, I notice a crowd has gathered which is typical in these situations with a male leaning over the victim and a woman standing over the victim.
I radio back to dispatch that I have arrived at the scene, "Control, Paul 10"
Dispatch - "Paul 10, go ahead."
Me - "Paul 10, 10-97"
Dispatch - "Paul 10, 10-97 copy."
As I pull up I notice a that the victim was wearing a motorcycle type of helmet which might have saved his life. I immediately tell him not to take the helmet off and not to move.
This street luckily wasn't very busy, but I needed to gain control of this situation as I was first one on scene. While getting off my bike and pointing at the motorized scooter underneath the car, I asked in an authoritative voice, "Who was driving this car?"
A male Asian between the ages of 30-35 stepped forward and said, "I drive sir." I told him to go stand on the sidewalk so I could deal with him later.
The victim was talking to the male that was leaning over him and from surveying the area, he seemed to be okay. I asked if he could move and the victim responded, "Yes, just my leg hurts."
Wanting him to get off the street so I could clear the street I said, "Lets move you over here and get you away from the street."
At this point, the Hispanic male between the ages of 25-30 leaning over the victim shot back, "He's staying right here until the paramedics come and we can get him on a backboard."
I didn't respond as I thought maybe he was a family member of the victims. Nonetheless though, I didn't like this little prick's attitude. As I stood there shining my badge, I thought about bashing his head in with my nightstick. This little cocknocker has undercut my authority in front of all these people. And that, I did not appreciate.
At this point the fire engine came rushing down the street. I took this opportunity to ask if the Hispanic Male knew the victim or was a family member of the victim. He responded with a simple no.
"Then why don't you get up and go stand over there then," I said pointing to the sidewalk trying to regain my control of the scene.
He responded with a dickhead response, "I'm an EMT and I'm staying here until the Paramedics come as you wanted to move him and don't know what you're talking about."
Apparently this fucking criminal didn't see my badge, otherwise he wouldn't be talking to me like this. I wanted to shove that stupid Hawaiian shirt he was wearing down his disrespectful throat.
I stepped over the victim accidentally kicking his left leg while I said, "Well the paramedics are here, you can go now."
The Hispanic Male replied while moving away, "Pay attention to where you're walking."
Normally I would have punched this beaner in the back of the head so it wouldn't leave any visual bruises, but I couldn't as there were to many witnesses.
With him gone and the paramedics on scene, I finally had control of the scene again.
"Stevie!!!"
"What mom???" I said as I rolled my eyes.
"You need to wear your helmet."
"Oh come on mom!!! The guys will make fun of me if I roll up wearing a stupid helmet!"
"I don't care, you need to wear it or you can walk."
"Fine!!!" I said letting out a big sigh. "I'm taking Dad's helmet."
"I hate this stupid thing," I say to myself as I grab my dad's motorcycle helmet instead of my bicycle helmet and rush for the door.
"I'm outta here mom, love you."
"Be careful, love you too."
I jump on my new Predator SE Jet Gas Operated Scooter and head off to Brad's house to meet up with my friends.
As I'm cruising about 20 mph hour down the sidewalk I notice two chicks walking and I wanted to get a better view of them.
I decide to make a quick dash across the street. I round a parked car and turn on the speed to zip across the street as I look to my right and see a car I didn't notice before.
SCREEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEECH
BOOM!!!
THUMP!!!
I slam into the car and fly off of it rolling about 15 feet away.
Pain in my left leg immediately started throbbing and I start rolling around as I have the wind knocked out of me.
As I'm rolling around on the ground all audio disappears and I don't hear anything. I don't really remember the exact events but little things stick out in my mind.
I see my Predator SE Jet Gas Operated Scooter underneath the car that hit me.
I see a guy in a Hawaiian shirt running towards me.
I see a bird flying in the sky.
I see a lady in a tank top and shorts running out of her house on a cell phone.
I see a McDonald's wrapper in the gutter by the sidewalk.
Then I see the driver get out of his car and run around the car towards me. As if I come crashing back to reality, I suddenly can hear as the driver starts screaming at me, "What wong wit you? you not see me?"
My mind quickly flashes to my mom telling me to be careful and I can't believe I didn't check the street before I crossed.
Still rolling around on the floor from the shock I blurt out, "I'm sorry, I wasn't paying attention."
I hear someone shout in the distance, "Someone have a cell phone? Call 911!!!"
The driver then said something else, but I wasn't paying attention as all I could think about was how pissed my mom was going to be.
The guy in the Hawaiian shirt comes up to me and asks if I'm okay. I just got hit by a car you dipshit, of course I'm not okay, but I shake my head yes. He then tells me not to move my head and just answer yes or no with my mouth. "Okay I said."
People started gathering around and I can't believe this is happening to me feeling started rushing through me and I start rolling around again wanting to get up and just get the hell out of there.
"Don't move your head, okay? You might feel okay, but just to be on the safe side don't move your head."
I agreed and laid there while he asked if anything hurt. I told him my left leg hurt but nothing else. Like he was some kind of angel, some kind of super hero, he pulls out some plastic gloves and tells me he is an EMT. I don't know what an EMT is, but him putting on plastic gloves is a good sign. The lady blocking the sunlight from my eyes seemed to be happy with him stating he was an EMT so it must mean something like, Exalted Majestic Trooper, or something similar. No matter what it means, he was my hero.
I agreed to let him check me out and he starts asking me various questions, like my name and age while he was pushing on different parts of my body. I started to relax a little as he seemed to know what he was doing.
After a few minutes I hear the sirens in the distance.
Its the cops. After a few minutes the cop walks over to me and says, "Can you move?"
I responded, "Yes, just my leg hurts."
The cop then points to the sidewalk and says "Lets move you over here and get you away from the street."
I look at my super hero EMT and he cuts the cop off and says, "He's staying right here until the paramedics come and we can get him on a backboard."
I just lied there not saying a word. Within seconds I hear more sirens and the cop then comes up to my angelic EMT and asks if he knows me or is a family member. He says no and then the cop tells him to move away. My Super Hero EMT tells the cop he is staying until the paramedics get here and then the cop steps over me but kicks my leg that was hit by the car.
I wrench my face up as the pain shot up and down my leg. My super hero EMT who I now believe is my dad leans over and says, "Don't worry, the paramedics are here and they'll take good care of you."
Then he mumbled something to the cop as my humble angel flew off to heaven.
I got off of work at 5:30. What a crappy ass day it has been. All my interns are back in school, and I'm stuck having to do all the work now.
Dammit!
No more time for blog reading.
No more time for Mausen Parties.
No more time for kick ass Nobody Rocks like me stuff that I normally do at work as I'm to busy doing the grunt work that I was making my interns do.
I had an appointment at 6 and I hate being late. Especially for this appointment because I get to talk to a really hot chick for 1 hour.
We all know how much I hate ugly people so being able to be in the presence of a hot chick for a full hour took some of my irritableness away of not having any interns anymore.
I'm going to see my dad this week so I thought I'd tune in to Michael Savage on my drive to my appointment. My dad is a complete Savage Nation junkie who hates all left wing liberals. I like to listen to Michael Savage before I see my dad so I can prepare myself mentally because I know that my dad will be on the band wagon with whatever Savage is talking about.
I like to tear my dad's no factual foundation opinions apart like a juicy tomato.
I get to my appointment's parking lot and start walking across the parking lot.
SCREEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEECH
BOOM!!!
THUMP!!!
I quickly turn around and see a car in the middle of the street and a kid about 15 feet away on the ground rolling around.
I open my car back up and grove some latex gloves I have in my glove department and take off my flip-flops and run to the kid who just got hammered by a car.
The kid was wearing a helmet so luckily I didn't have to deal with any brain matter on my bare feet.
My next major concern was hoping that this kid had taken a shower recently so I wouldn't have to deal with any kind of B.O. cause God knows I most
likely would just walk away from the scene with the slightest of fuchi smell.
As I come running up the driver is out of the car and shouts, "What wong wit you? you not see me?"
You just hit a kid you fucking dipshit and you're yelling at him? The kid is rolling around on the ground like he had a sudden outbreak of itchy herpes.
The kid says, "I'm sorry, I wasn't paying attention."
Looking over at the car I see a motorized scooter wrapped around one of the tires. Seeing that the kid hit the car and rolled about 15 feet there is no way in hell I wanted him to be moving like that.
Especially his head.
I scan the area to make sure someone has called 911 and I see a lady in a tank top & shorts on the phone. Which I assume was with 911, but her being a chick, she could be on the phone with a girlfriend talking about the accident cause chicks can be dumb like that.
I get the kid to stop moving and I put on my latex gloves as I see blood on his sleeve around his left arm.
I tell the kid I'm an EMT and ask if I can help him. He has a puzzled look on his face but agrees.
I first check to see where the blood is coming from and it is just a small scrap underneath his arm. Nothing life threatening, not even worth stopping the bleeding because it was so minor.
I do a quick secondary survey of him going from chest down to wear he said his left leg hurt. Nothing major was going on, no broken bones, no blood besides the little bit on his left arm.
I tell the kid that it looks like nothing to much is going on, but to be safe, you need to be still and the paramedics will most likely take you to the hospital for x-rays.
"The hospital? My mom is going to kill me!"
Ooops, maybe I shouldn't have said that to him. I reassure him that it is just mainly for precaution and his mom would want him to go, as it is better to be safe than sorry.
The kid starts calming down as sirens can be heard in the distance. While waiting with him, I start talking to him and I find out his name is Steve and some other information.
Within seconds I see a motorcycle cop coming down our street.
The cop gets off his bike and tells Steve not to move and not to take off his helmet. Good thing this cop was on top of his game for the day in this situation.
He makes quick conversation to the driver of the car and then walks over to Steve while I'm kneeling over him and says, "Can you move?"
At this point, I was very happy that the cop was on scene because I had absolutely no control over this situation at all. I knew the cop would save the day because cops always save the day and they always know exactly what to do.
Steve responded in a shaky voice, "Yes, just my leg hurts."
The cop then points to the sidewalk and says "Lets move you over here and get you away from the street."
What the...?
I look up at the cop with a disgruntled look on my face and spout off, "He's staying right here until the paramedics come and we can get him on a backboard."
All signs pointed that Steve was okay, but there is no way in hell I was going to take a chance.
Especially since I had already identified myself as an EMT and would ultimately have to take responsibility for Steve if something did go wrong. I was the only one on scene with emergency medical training.
No Way was Steve going to be moved while I was in charge.
As in, No - Christopher Reeves will never walk again - Way.
The cop didn't respond to me most likely because he knew I was right.
About this time the fire engine came rolling down the street at a quick pace.
{Sidenote - if you thought of Christopher Reeves when I said "rolling" in that last sentence, I will look forward to seeing you in hell with me.}
The cop then comes back over to me and says, "Are you related to him or do you know him?"
I reply no because that has nothing to do with me helping me this poor kid who just got smacked by a car and flew 15 feet in the air.
With a 'wtf are you doing here' look on his face, the cop says, "Then why don't you get up and go stand over there then."
I apparently have stepped on this cops control toes. Being the son of a cop and going on numerous ride alongs, I know that being a cop, you always have to be in control of situations. But you can do all that by still being professional which this cop obviously wasn't because I slapped him back in his place when he wanted to move Steve.
I identified myself to Pompous Officer, "I'm an EMT and I'm staying here until the Paramedics come."
I might have said something else in a tone that isn't very appreciative to the men and women in blue just to get under his skin because he irritated the hell out of me, but I'm not going to repeat what I said because I'm the hero in this story and you, my gentle readers, don't need to know it.
The cop then steps over Steve and says "Well the paramedics are here, you can go now."
As he was saying this and stepping over Steve, the cop actually kicked the leg that was hurting. The lady standing over Steve said, "You just kicked his leg that hurts."
I look up and see the paramedic running up to the scene and then I lean over Steve and say, "Don't worry, the paramedics are here and they'll take good care of you."
As I'm walking away, I look at Officer 'I Think I'm Better Than TIMMY!' and say, "Pay attention to where you're walking."
Nobody is better than me because Nobody Rocks Like Me.
Reason #993 why My Life Is Better Than Yours:
I'm a Hero.
"What wrong day it ha been," I say to myself as I stretch out on my couch. I look at my watch while I'm watching the Olympics and realize that it is 5:50 p.m. Oh crap, I'm going to be late to go pick up my daughter from swim class.
I grab my trusty camera in hopes of getting some candid shots of my daughter, I love my camera! I hop in the car and turn on the radio.
1, 2, 3, 4,
My baby don't mess around
Because she loves me so
and this I know for show
"I wrove tis song," I say to myself as I crank the volume up and start singing.
"don't try fight de feewrin
'cause the thought awrone
is kiwin' me white now"
I'm banging my steering wheel like a Cuban Drum as put my car into drive and pull out of my driveway.
Thank god for mommy & daddy
for stickin' two together
'cause we don't know how
"Heeeeeeeeeeeeeeey yaaaaaaa
heeey ya
"Heeeeeeeeeeeeeeey yaaaaaaa
heeey ya"
I'm feeling the music as I make my first turn onto a busy street.
but separate is always better
when there's feelings involved
ah alllll ah allllll
ah alllll ah allllll
"what say is nating is forever
then what wa wa wa, I make
then what wa wa, I dont know"
so why-o why-o
why-o why-o why-o
Are we so in denial
when we know we're not happy here?
Man, how I hate rush hour traffic. Don't these people have anything better to do than to sit in on the street and make me late? I turn down a side street so I don't get caught up in all the traffic lights ahead.
(dont want to meet your daddy)
"heeeeeeeeeeeey yaaaa"
(just want you in my caddy)
"heeey ya"
As I turn up the music cause I'm singing like I should be cutting a record deal while cruising at the speed limit, a kid darts out in front of me.....
SCREEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEECH
BOOM!!!
THUMP!!!
My car comes to a sudden stop with a motorized scooter underneath and a teenager about 10 feet from my car.
My car stereo is still blaring the Outkast song.
I wanna seeya'll on ur BADDDEST behavior
Lend me some sugar
I am your neighbor
Ah hear we go now
Shake it sh shake it
Shake it sh shake it....
I turn the car off and I see the kid rolling around in obvious pain. I start asking myself questions:
After asking myself these series of questions I became irked, irritated ...I can't believe these reckless kids doing whatever they want without even looking to see if a car is coming!
I jump out of the car and run around towards the kid rolling around and yell excitedly, "What wong wit you? you not see me?"
While the kid is rolling around he says, "I'm sorry, I wasn't paying attention."
I hear someone shout in the distance, "Someone have a cell phone? Call 911!!!"
Then the reality sets in and I calm down a bit. "I can' t bewrieve I hit you, I see you lot of time here on street."
A crowd gathers around and I step aside.
After a few minutes I hear the sirens in the distance. After a few seconds they are visible as they turn down the street with the boy still laying in the street with some other guy standing over him and a lady blocking the sun from his eyes.
A motorcycle police officer pulls up.
He immediately tells the kid not to move and to leave his helmet on and the fire engine will be here any second.
While getting off of his motorcycle he asks in a demanding voice, "Who was driving this car?" as he points to my vehicle.
"I drive sir." I said stepping forward.
He tells me to wait over there and points to the sidewalk.
The dispatcher come over the radio about 1755 hours on August 24, 2004 for a 1181 ped. I click my radio and respond, "Control, Paul 10."
Dispatch - "Paul 10, go ahead."
Me - "Paul 10, 10-49 on the 1181 ped."
Dispatch - "Paul 10, 10-49 copy."
The call came in that a white male between the ages of 14-18 was struck by a moving vehicle. I go to Code-3 and turn my sirens on as I speed down the streets. Only slowing down as I come to intersections to make sure everyone is stopping so I don't become victim number two.
I raced down the street where the accident took place. As the scene becomes clearer, I notice a crowd has gathered which is typical in these situations with a male leaning over the victim and a woman standing over the victim.
I radio back to dispatch that I have arrived at the scene, "Control, Paul 10"
Dispatch - "Paul 10, go ahead."
Me - "Paul 10, 10-97"
Dispatch - "Paul 10, 10-97 copy."
As I pull up I notice a that the victim was wearing a motorcycle type of helmet which might have saved his life. I immediately tell him not to take the helmet off and not to move.
This street luckily wasn't very busy, but I needed to gain control of this situation as I was first one on scene. While getting off my bike and pointing at the motorized scooter underneath the car, I asked in an authoritative voice, "Who was driving this car?"
A male Asian between the ages of 30-35 stepped forward and said, "I drive sir." I told him to go stand on the sidewalk so I could deal with him later.
The victim was talking to the male that was leaning over him and from surveying the area, he seemed to be okay. I asked if he could move and the victim responded, "Yes, just my leg hurts."
Wanting him to get off the street so I could clear the street I said, "Lets move you over here and get you away from the street."
At this point, the Hispanic male between the ages of 25-30 leaning over the victim shot back, "He's staying right here until the paramedics come and we can get him on a backboard."
I didn't respond as I thought maybe he was a family member of the victims. Nonetheless though, I didn't like this little prick's attitude. As I stood there shining my badge, I thought about bashing his head in with my nightstick. This little cocknocker has undercut my authority in front of all these people. And that, I did not appreciate.
At this point the fire engine came rushing down the street. I took this opportunity to ask if the Hispanic Male knew the victim or was a family member of the victim. He responded with a simple no.
"Then why don't you get up and go stand over there then," I said pointing to the sidewalk trying to regain my control of the scene.
He responded with a dickhead response, "I'm an EMT and I'm staying here until the Paramedics come as you wanted to move him and don't know what you're talking about."
Apparently this fucking criminal didn't see my badge, otherwise he wouldn't be talking to me like this. I wanted to shove that stupid Hawaiian shirt he was wearing down his disrespectful throat.
I stepped over the victim accidentally kicking his left leg while I said, "Well the paramedics are here, you can go now."
The Hispanic Male replied while moving away, "Pay attention to where you're walking."
Normally I would have punched this beaner in the back of the head so it wouldn't leave any visual bruises, but I couldn't as there were to many witnesses.
With him gone and the paramedics on scene, I finally had control of the scene again.
"Stevie!!!"
"What mom???" I said as I rolled my eyes.
"You need to wear your helmet."
"Oh come on mom!!! The guys will make fun of me if I roll up wearing a stupid helmet!"
"I don't care, you need to wear it or you can walk."
"Fine!!!" I said letting out a big sigh. "I'm taking Dad's helmet."
"I hate this stupid thing," I say to myself as I grab my dad's motorcycle helmet instead of my bicycle helmet and rush for the door.
"I'm outta here mom, love you."
"Be careful, love you too."
I jump on my new Predator SE Jet Gas Operated Scooter and head off to Brad's house to meet up with my friends.
As I'm cruising about 20 mph hour down the sidewalk I notice two chicks walking and I wanted to get a better view of them.
I decide to make a quick dash across the street. I round a parked car and turn on the speed to zip across the street as I look to my right and see a car I didn't notice before.
SCREEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEECH
BOOM!!!
THUMP!!!
I slam into the car and fly off of it rolling about 15 feet away.
Pain in my left leg immediately started throbbing and I start rolling around as I have the wind knocked out of me.
As I'm rolling around on the ground all audio disappears and I don't hear anything. I don't really remember the exact events but little things stick out in my mind.
I see my Predator SE Jet Gas Operated Scooter underneath the car that hit me.
I see a guy in a Hawaiian shirt running towards me.
I see a bird flying in the sky.
I see a lady in a tank top and shorts running out of her house on a cell phone.
I see a McDonald's wrapper in the gutter by the sidewalk.
Then I see the driver get out of his car and run around the car towards me. As if I come crashing back to reality, I suddenly can hear as the driver starts screaming at me, "What wong wit you? you not see me?"
My mind quickly flashes to my mom telling me to be careful and I can't believe I didn't check the street before I crossed.
Still rolling around on the floor from the shock I blurt out, "I'm sorry, I wasn't paying attention."
I hear someone shout in the distance, "Someone have a cell phone? Call 911!!!"
The driver then said something else, but I wasn't paying attention as all I could think about was how pissed my mom was going to be.
The guy in the Hawaiian shirt comes up to me and asks if I'm okay. I just got hit by a car you dipshit, of course I'm not okay, but I shake my head yes. He then tells me not to move my head and just answer yes or no with my mouth. "Okay I said."
People started gathering around and I can't believe this is happening to me feeling started rushing through me and I start rolling around again wanting to get up and just get the hell out of there.
"Don't move your head, okay? You might feel okay, but just to be on the safe side don't move your head."
I agreed and laid there while he asked if anything hurt. I told him my left leg hurt but nothing else. Like he was some kind of angel, some kind of super hero, he pulls out some plastic gloves and tells me he is an EMT. I don't know what an EMT is, but him putting on plastic gloves is a good sign. The lady blocking the sunlight from my eyes seemed to be happy with him stating he was an EMT so it must mean something like, Exalted Majestic Trooper, or something similar. No matter what it means, he was my hero.
I agreed to let him check me out and he starts asking me various questions, like my name and age while he was pushing on different parts of my body. I started to relax a little as he seemed to know what he was doing.
After a few minutes I hear the sirens in the distance.
Its the cops. After a few minutes the cop walks over to me and says, "Can you move?"
I responded, "Yes, just my leg hurts."
The cop then points to the sidewalk and says "Lets move you over here and get you away from the street."
I look at my super hero EMT and he cuts the cop off and says, "He's staying right here until the paramedics come and we can get him on a backboard."
I just lied there not saying a word. Within seconds I hear more sirens and the cop then comes up to my angelic EMT and asks if he knows me or is a family member. He says no and then the cop tells him to move away. My Super Hero EMT tells the cop he is staying until the paramedics get here and then the cop steps over me but kicks my leg that was hit by the car.
I wrench my face up as the pain shot up and down my leg. My super hero EMT who I now believe is my dad leans over and says, "Don't worry, the paramedics are here and they'll take good care of you."
Then he mumbled something to the cop as my humble angel flew off to heaven.
I got off of work at 5:30. What a crappy ass day it has been. All my interns are back in school, and I'm stuck having to do all the work now.
Dammit!
No more time for blog reading.
No more time for Mausen Parties.
No more time for kick ass Nobody Rocks like me stuff that I normally do at work as I'm to busy doing the grunt work that I was making my interns do.
I had an appointment at 6 and I hate being late. Especially for this appointment because I get to talk to a really hot chick for 1 hour.
We all know how much I hate ugly people so being able to be in the presence of a hot chick for a full hour took some of my irritableness away of not having any interns anymore.
I'm going to see my dad this week so I thought I'd tune in to Michael Savage on my drive to my appointment. My dad is a complete Savage Nation junkie who hates all left wing liberals. I like to listen to Michael Savage before I see my dad so I can prepare myself mentally because I know that my dad will be on the band wagon with whatever Savage is talking about.
I like to tear my dad's no factual foundation opinions apart like a juicy tomato.
I get to my appointment's parking lot and start walking across the parking lot.
SCREEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEECH
BOOM!!!
THUMP!!!
I quickly turn around and see a car in the middle of the street and a kid about 15 feet away on the ground rolling around.
I open my car back up and grove some latex gloves I have in my glove department and take off my flip-flops and run to the kid who just got hammered by a car.
The kid was wearing a helmet so luckily I didn't have to deal with any brain matter on my bare feet.
My next major concern was hoping that this kid had taken a shower recently so I wouldn't have to deal with any kind of B.O. cause God knows I most
likely would just walk away from the scene with the slightest of fuchi smell.
As I come running up the driver is out of the car and shouts, "What wong wit you? you not see me?"
You just hit a kid you fucking dipshit and you're yelling at him? The kid is rolling around on the ground like he had a sudden outbreak of itchy herpes.
The kid says, "I'm sorry, I wasn't paying attention."
Looking over at the car I see a motorized scooter wrapped around one of the tires. Seeing that the kid hit the car and rolled about 15 feet there is no way in hell I wanted him to be moving like that.
Especially his head.
I scan the area to make sure someone has called 911 and I see a lady in a tank top & shorts on the phone. Which I assume was with 911, but her being a chick, she could be on the phone with a girlfriend talking about the accident cause chicks can be dumb like that.
I get the kid to stop moving and I put on my latex gloves as I see blood on his sleeve around his left arm.
I tell the kid I'm an EMT and ask if I can help him. He has a puzzled look on his face but agrees.
I first check to see where the blood is coming from and it is just a small scrap underneath his arm. Nothing life threatening, not even worth stopping the bleeding because it was so minor.
I do a quick secondary survey of him going from chest down to wear he said his left leg hurt. Nothing major was going on, no broken bones, no blood besides the little bit on his left arm.
I tell the kid that it looks like nothing to much is going on, but to be safe, you need to be still and the paramedics will most likely take you to the hospital for x-rays.
"The hospital? My mom is going to kill me!"
Ooops, maybe I shouldn't have said that to him. I reassure him that it is just mainly for precaution and his mom would want him to go, as it is better to be safe than sorry.
The kid starts calming down as sirens can be heard in the distance. While waiting with him, I start talking to him and I find out his name is Steve and some other information.
Within seconds I see a motorcycle cop coming down our street.
The cop gets off his bike and tells Steve not to move and not to take off his helmet. Good thing this cop was on top of his game for the day in this situation.
He makes quick conversation to the driver of the car and then walks over to Steve while I'm kneeling over him and says, "Can you move?"
At this point, I was very happy that the cop was on scene because I had absolutely no control over this situation at all. I knew the cop would save the day because cops always save the day and they always know exactly what to do.
Steve responded in a shaky voice, "Yes, just my leg hurts."
The cop then points to the sidewalk and says "Lets move you over here and get you away from the street."
What the...?
I look up at the cop with a disgruntled look on my face and spout off, "He's staying right here until the paramedics come and we can get him on a backboard."
All signs pointed that Steve was okay, but there is no way in hell I was going to take a chance.
Especially since I had already identified myself as an EMT and would ultimately have to take responsibility for Steve if something did go wrong. I was the only one on scene with emergency medical training.
No Way was Steve going to be moved while I was in charge.
As in, No - Christopher Reeves will never walk again - Way.
The cop didn't respond to me most likely because he knew I was right.
About this time the fire engine came rolling down the street at a quick pace.
{Sidenote - if you thought of Christopher Reeves when I said "rolling" in that last sentence, I will look forward to seeing you in hell with me.}
The cop then comes back over to me and says, "Are you related to him or do you know him?"
I reply no because that has nothing to do with me helping me this poor kid who just got smacked by a car and flew 15 feet in the air.
With a 'wtf are you doing here' look on his face, the cop says, "Then why don't you get up and go stand over there then."
I apparently have stepped on this cops control toes. Being the son of a cop and going on numerous ride alongs, I know that being a cop, you always have to be in control of situations. But you can do all that by still being professional which this cop obviously wasn't because I slapped him back in his place when he wanted to move Steve.
I identified myself to Pompous Officer, "I'm an EMT and I'm staying here until the Paramedics come."
I might have said something else in a tone that isn't very appreciative to the men and women in blue just to get under his skin because he irritated the hell out of me, but I'm not going to repeat what I said because I'm the hero in this story and you, my gentle readers, don't need to know it.
The cop then steps over Steve and says "Well the paramedics are here, you can go now."
As he was saying this and stepping over Steve, the cop actually kicked the leg that was hurting. The lady standing over Steve said, "You just kicked his leg that hurts."
I look up and see the paramedic running up to the scene and then I lean over Steve and say, "Don't worry, the paramedics are here and they'll take good care of you."
As I'm walking away, I look at Officer 'I Think I'm Better Than TIMMY!' and say, "Pay attention to where you're walking."
Nobody is better than me because Nobody Rocks Like Me.
Reason #993 why My Life Is Better Than Yours:
I'm a Hero.
other obsessions besides herpes that I have. After sitting on the toilet for like 47 minutes, I have come up with a short obsession list that I would like to bring out in the open and "vent" if you will. So, here is my short list of obsessions:
filled Africans) all over Africa. This my gentle readers, will eliminate hunger on the continent of Africa once and for all.
Reeves hates stairs. I would much rather sit in a room with a decomposing maggot infested body than having to deal with someone with B.O. The dead person can't help that they stink and are decomposing....but the person with B.O. can do something about it. It's as simple as taking a shower and/or bath and using this little invention called deodorant.
can feel the music and I'm feeling the music and all of a sudden I pull a new move out that goes with the music, it was perfect, I was like Patrick Swayze in flip flops. My friend is impressed with the move and says, "That was cute."
even over look the fact that they might have an incurable disease. 
Buy me a rose, call me from work
I make my way down the hallway to the bathroom stumbling and bumping into walls. I look in the mirror and think about shaving but decide against it wanting to prove my point even more that I am not Metrosexual.
the laughing away it sounded like a dying penguin struggling for survival in Antarctica.
causing the company to take a gross profit loss, can you explain why your department is holding back the company?"
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