I'm Not R. Kelly
Congratulations to Joanne for being the first to respond to my quote question and getting it correct!!!!
w00t w00t
As a prize, she gets her link up on my main page for a week. Now Joanne, don't expect to get much traffic, you'd be lucky if I am able to send 3 people your way...hey, I promised to put your link up, I didn't promise traffic to your blog.
A little bit about Joanne and why you should go visit her at Joanne's Life - she volunteers a lot of her time for various things (i.e. Girl Scout Leader, even though she doesn't have any kids), she also goes to a lot of gay bars even though she is straight, which make for some fun stories from a straight woman's perspective.
She also has a great knack for keen observations. I loved her post about "Random Stoppers" in stores. You know the type, the kind that are walking and they just stop in the middle of the walk way. I get irritated just thinking about it.
Anyways, she has a great blog - go check it out.
Joanne's Life
By the way, you will all be happy to know that I have a new camera and with my new upgraded computer at work, I'll be able to take pictures and upload them quickly to the website to go along with my superb writing skills.
It costs about $5,783 dollars less than Bad Mamma Jamma's camera, but it will get the job done.
Last Friday I pull up to the little building and quickly find myself a parking spot. I get out of my car and I immediately hear the music cranked up from inside the building blaring out Salsa music.
I check myself in my side mirror and give myself a wink as I head towards the door.
Two women were outside smoking (no smoking inside public places in California - for those of you who don't know) when I notice my friend Mr. Bum....I'm going to call him Mr. Bum because in this story I'm going to make him a Beach Bum with a Californian accent....he doesn't really, and to be honest, I don't think he has ever had a tan in his life, but to help spruce this story up, he's going to have a California accent.
"Dooood, we've been waitin for ya brah," Mr. Bum said as he holds his hand out wanting to do some slick handshake.
"Hey what's up Mr. Bum...is your wife here?" I asked as I held my hand still while his slapped mine, rolled it over mine and then he snapped his finger.
"YEAH dood, she's inside with some friends....I was just getting some fresh air."
Mr. Bum turns towards the door and pays for my cover charge.
"Hey - you don't have to pay for me...let ..."
He cuts me off with a quick, "Dood, seriously, don't even stress about it, I gotcha brah."
Inside we meet up with his wife and some of her friends. We'll call his wife Mrs. Hip Hop because she takes a lot of Hip Hop dance classes. She is going to have a valley girl accent because I'm quickly realizing how horrible this story is going to be and I need to make my characters more interesting.
"Like, Oh My God! Its TIMMY!"
"Hey how are you?" I ask as I flash my Clark Gable smile.
"You know most of my friends except for one in particular...Oh my God, I can't believe so many of my friends are here tonight, I'm like a total sosh!"
Mrs. Hip Hop puts her arm around her friend and says, "Like, this is my friend Boobs, she's from the Citaaaay...we're like talking, total heart beat of the world, fer sure."
She's called Boobs because her chest was very boobalicious. She was a very attractive woman, and then it is at this point that it hit me.
I was being set up with Boobs by Mr. Bum & Mrs. Hip Hop.
Mrs. Hip Hop kept asking me over and over the week leading up to the dancing whether or not I was going...she wanted confirmation after confirmation.
Now I know why, she had a secret plan to set me up with Boobs.
I hate being set up - especially on a surprise like this.
Now for those of you who don't know, the "City" in Northern California, is San Francisco. Its about a 45 minute drive North from where I am. So if Boobs was from the City as Mrs. Hip Hop had said, the very least I could do was talk to her and dance with her.
Maybe we'd hit it off and I'd be banging on her chest like the congos as I make her scream out, "TIMMY!'s life is better than mine."
The girls head off for the table they were sitting at while Mr. Bum walks with me and says. "Dood, I was going to tell you but Ms. Hip Hop made me promise not to tell you or she said I couldn't go surfing over the weekend. You know how I need to surf brah, besides - she's good looking - schwwwwing."
Mr. Bum had a point there. She was good looking. In fact, she was good enough looking that I would be willing to share a tamale with her.
She was very mature and just a great personality all around. We seemed to be getting along great when I found out her age.
**Bwwwwwwwwwew.......Rooo roooo rooooo.........Bwwwwwwewww......**
Sirens go off in my head. She was only 21.
Now that's only a 5 year difference; however, I have made a lot of decisions in my life that have led me to this point in my life that is not to ideal when it comes to dating. Especially when it is someone so young. The only time this is acceptable is if I'm rich or really old. I definitely plan on having a pre-nuptial agreement on my next marriage to state that if the wife dies first, I will be allowed to go out and get a 21 year old
But not now - even though it has been awhile and I could use some fun...I just won't do it.
There is no way I would go out with her in a romantic setting, I'd hang out with her as friends, but not romantically. She was very mature and attractive and I would have guessed that she was my age or maybe older, but the reality is this isn't a fairy tale. Reality is I'm trying to start my life over by clearing old emotional baggage out and make the best possible life for my 2 year old daughter while she is just starting her life out.
She doesn't need that in her life whether she knows it or not. I would even think twice about someone my own age getting involved with me because it isn't ideal. I wouldn't make the decision for someone my age whether to date them or not, but I will for someone who is only 21 even if they are tamale lady beautiful. I guess I'll just stick with my book reading.
Mr. Bum gets up and asks Boobs to dance to give Mrs. Hip Hop a chance to get the status of her current Match Making Game.
"Like, are we talking Burt & Loni material here or what? I am like soooooo happy with myself."
"She's great, but I'm not going to date someone that young."
"What? If I had known this would be so difficult, I wouldn't have signed up for this gig...fer sure."
"She's to young....and by the way, don't set me up again, sheeeeeesh."
"Argh, like, you suck."
I left shortly after that....
If you disagree with my decision, you're wrong....cause I'm always right. Except for one time, which I hope I corrected in my last post, but savor the flavor - because that doesn't happen, and I will never be wrong again.
I recently saw Ladder 49.
Awesome Movie.
Must See. Seriously...it was a great movie, I didn't even get pissed off when the chick in front of me started sobbing like a baby through the sad scenes like I normally do because I enjoyed the movie so much. Typically I would be kicking the chair in front of me telling the broad to shut up. It is because of these types of emotional outbreaks that proves my point that women should not be allowed to vote.
Ladder 49 stars John Travolta..... John Travolta?........
John Travolta also played in Swordfish with one of my favorite women, Halle Berry
Halle Berry was in Jungle Fever with Wesley Snipes
Wesley Snipes was in the Rising Sun with Sean Connery
Sean Connery was in Indiana Jones: The Last Crusade with Harrison Ford
Harrison Ford was in American Graffiti with Charles Martin Smith
Charles Martin Smith was in Touching Wild Loose with Jane Seymour
Jane Seymour was in Somewhere In Time with who?......doot do dun!!!!!
CHRISTOPHER REEVE!!!!!!!
Thank you - thank you.
Speaking of Christopher Reeve - I belong to a Gaming Forum called the Offices Club. The only one I have ever been loyal too. Now I know this might come as a shock, but I have a very short attention span, but this forum has kept my attention for almost 2 years now. Whew.
Anyways, the President of the forum, after reading my stories of Christopher Reeve, decided to bless me with a wonderful award of Black Heart. Now I don't think he meant for it to be a good thing, but I gladly accept it as an honor for him to present it to me and I take it as a wonderful award that we all should strive to obtain.
The Officer's Club (OC) was established in February 2003 as an online community centered around the Vietnam game Jungle War. Since then we have evolved into an independent organization bound togeather by common interests and long-standing friendships.
The goal of the Officer's Club is to provide a fun, friendly enviroment for individuals from all across the world. The club is a very laid back enviroment.
If that sounds like something you'd be interested in, then take a gander over and sign up.
The Officer's Club
w00t w00t
As a prize, she gets her link up on my main page for a week. Now Joanne, don't expect to get much traffic, you'd be lucky if I am able to send 3 people your way...hey, I promised to put your link up, I didn't promise traffic to your blog.
A little bit about Joanne and why you should go visit her at Joanne's Life - she volunteers a lot of her time for various things (i.e. Girl Scout Leader, even though she doesn't have any kids), she also goes to a lot of gay bars even though she is straight, which make for some fun stories from a straight woman's perspective.
She also has a great knack for keen observations. I loved her post about "Random Stoppers" in stores. You know the type, the kind that are walking and they just stop in the middle of the walk way. I get irritated just thinking about it.
Anyways, she has a great blog - go check it out.
Joanne's Life
By the way, you will all be happy to know that I have a new camera and with my new upgraded computer at work, I'll be able to take pictures and upload them quickly to the website to go along with my superb writing skills.
It costs about $5,783 dollars less than Bad Mamma Jamma's camera, but it will get the job done.
Last Friday I pull up to the little building and quickly find myself a parking spot. I get out of my car and I immediately hear the music cranked up from inside the building blaring out Salsa music.
I check myself in my side mirror and give myself a wink as I head towards the door.
Two women were outside smoking (no smoking inside public places in California - for those of you who don't know) when I notice my friend Mr. Bum....I'm going to call him Mr. Bum because in this story I'm going to make him a Beach Bum with a Californian accent....he doesn't really, and to be honest, I don't think he has ever had a tan in his life, but to help spruce this story up, he's going to have a California accent.
"Dooood, we've been waitin for ya brah," Mr. Bum said as he holds his hand out wanting to do some slick handshake.
"Hey what's up Mr. Bum...is your wife here?" I asked as I held my hand still while his slapped mine, rolled it over mine and then he snapped his finger.
"YEAH dood, she's inside with some friends....I was just getting some fresh air."
Mr. Bum turns towards the door and pays for my cover charge.
"Hey - you don't have to pay for me...let ..."
He cuts me off with a quick, "Dood, seriously, don't even stress about it, I gotcha brah."
Inside we meet up with his wife and some of her friends. We'll call his wife Mrs. Hip Hop because she takes a lot of Hip Hop dance classes. She is going to have a valley girl accent because I'm quickly realizing how horrible this story is going to be and I need to make my characters more interesting.
"Like, Oh My God! Its TIMMY!"
"Hey how are you?" I ask as I flash my Clark Gable smile.
"You know most of my friends except for one in particular...Oh my God, I can't believe so many of my friends are here tonight, I'm like a total sosh!"
Mrs. Hip Hop puts her arm around her friend and says, "Like, this is my friend Boobs, she's from the Citaaaay...we're like talking, total heart beat of the world, fer sure."
She's called Boobs because her chest was very boobalicious. She was a very attractive woman, and then it is at this point that it hit me.
I was being set up with Boobs by Mr. Bum & Mrs. Hip Hop.
Mrs. Hip Hop kept asking me over and over the week leading up to the dancing whether or not I was going...she wanted confirmation after confirmation.
Now I know why, she had a secret plan to set me up with Boobs.
I hate being set up - especially on a surprise like this.
Now for those of you who don't know, the "City" in Northern California, is San Francisco. Its about a 45 minute drive North from where I am. So if Boobs was from the City as Mrs. Hip Hop had said, the very least I could do was talk to her and dance with her.
Maybe we'd hit it off and I'd be banging on her chest like the congos as I make her scream out, "TIMMY!'s life is better than mine."
The girls head off for the table they were sitting at while Mr. Bum walks with me and says. "Dood, I was going to tell you but Ms. Hip Hop made me promise not to tell you or she said I couldn't go surfing over the weekend. You know how I need to surf brah, besides - she's good looking - schwwwwing."
Mr. Bum had a point there. She was good looking. In fact, she was good enough looking that I would be willing to share a tamale with her.
She was very mature and just a great personality all around. We seemed to be getting along great when I found out her age.
**Bwwwwwwwwwew.......Rooo roooo rooooo.........Bwwwwwwewww......**
Sirens go off in my head. She was only 21.
Now that's only a 5 year difference; however, I have made a lot of decisions in my life that have led me to this point in my life that is not to ideal when it comes to dating. Especially when it is someone so young. The only time this is acceptable is if I'm rich or really old. I definitely plan on having a pre-nuptial agreement on my next marriage to state that if the wife dies first, I will be allowed to go out and get a 21 year old
But not now - even though it has been awhile and I could use some fun...I just won't do it.
There is no way I would go out with her in a romantic setting, I'd hang out with her as friends, but not romantically. She was very mature and attractive and I would have guessed that she was my age or maybe older, but the reality is this isn't a fairy tale. Reality is I'm trying to start my life over by clearing old emotional baggage out and make the best possible life for my 2 year old daughter while she is just starting her life out.
She doesn't need that in her life whether she knows it or not. I would even think twice about someone my own age getting involved with me because it isn't ideal. I wouldn't make the decision for someone my age whether to date them or not, but I will for someone who is only 21 even if they are tamale lady beautiful. I guess I'll just stick with my book reading.
Mr. Bum gets up and asks Boobs to dance to give Mrs. Hip Hop a chance to get the status of her current Match Making Game.
"Like, are we talking Burt & Loni material here or what? I am like soooooo happy with myself."
"She's great, but I'm not going to date someone that young."
"What? If I had known this would be so difficult, I wouldn't have signed up for this gig...fer sure."
"She's to young....and by the way, don't set me up again, sheeeeeesh."
"Argh, like, you suck."
I left shortly after that....
If you disagree with my decision, you're wrong....cause I'm always right. Except for one time, which I hope I corrected in my last post, but savor the flavor - because that doesn't happen, and I will never be wrong again.
I recently saw Ladder 49.
Awesome Movie.
Must See. Seriously...it was a great movie, I didn't even get pissed off when the chick in front of me started sobbing like a baby through the sad scenes like I normally do because I enjoyed the movie so much. Typically I would be kicking the chair in front of me telling the broad to shut up. It is because of these types of emotional outbreaks that proves my point that women should not be allowed to vote.
Ladder 49 stars John Travolta..... John Travolta?........
John Travolta also played in Swordfish with one of my favorite women, Halle Berry
Halle Berry was in Jungle Fever with Wesley Snipes
Wesley Snipes was in the Rising Sun with Sean Connery
Sean Connery was in Indiana Jones: The Last Crusade with Harrison Ford
Harrison Ford was in American Graffiti with Charles Martin Smith
Charles Martin Smith was in Touching Wild Loose with Jane Seymour
Jane Seymour was in Somewhere In Time with who?......doot do dun!!!!!
CHRISTOPHER REEVE!!!!!!!
Thank you - thank you.
Speaking of Christopher Reeve - I belong to a Gaming Forum called the Offices Club. The only one I have ever been loyal too. Now I know this might come as a shock, but I have a very short attention span, but this forum has kept my attention for almost 2 years now. Whew.
Anyways, the President of the forum, after reading my stories of Christopher Reeve, decided to bless me with a wonderful award of Black Heart. Now I don't think he meant for it to be a good thing, but I gladly accept it as an honor for him to present it to me and I take it as a wonderful award that we all should strive to obtain.
The Officer's Club (OC) was established in February 2003 as an online community centered around the Vietnam game Jungle War. Since then we have evolved into an independent organization bound togeather by common interests and long-standing friendships.
The goal of the Officer's Club is to provide a fun, friendly enviroment for individuals from all across the world. The club is a very laid back enviroment.
If that sounds like something you'd be interested in, then take a gander over and sign up.
The Officer's Club
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