How To Make A Sandwich Like A Man
I'm sick and tired of people making pussy sandwiches.....errr, wait, pussy sandwiches? That actually sounds enticing ..... hmmmm, let me think about that for a moment....
Pussy Sandwiches....good times, good times
I'm sick and tired of people making pansy sandwiches. I want meat, cheese and chips. That's it!
I DON'T FUCKING NEED ALL THAT GREEN HEALTHY BULLSHIT
And we definitely don't want to have tomatoes on our sandwiches as we have learned in the past that tomatoes are for the bedroom, not for sandwiches.
I'm going to show you how to make a sandwich like a man.
A Manwich.
Women, take notes as you will need these sure fire tips on making a proper sandwich like a man. Make him a sandwich he'd be proud of by keeping that smile on his face even when you're not on your knees.
What you need:
Meat - what every true man (hunter) needs. You need meat, lots of it and with a variety of it.
Cheese - You'd have a pussy sandwich if............................good times, good times. You'd have a pansy sandwich if you didn't have a lot of and a variety of cheese.
Chips - Every perfect sandwich needs chips on the sandwich - this is common knowledge and if you didn't know this, your retarded. If you didn't get the joke in that last sentence, you really are retarded.
Mustard - MUSTARD, none of the pussy whipped Dijon Mustard or other crap that is watered down, you need mustard - good hard clean original yellow mutha-fuckin mustard.
Mayonnaise - Just a little bit, unless you are trying to keep your mullet properly greased.
Tabasco - We are making a sandwich like a man and you need Tabasco or something hotter if available like "Dave's Insanity Sauce" on your sandwich. If you don't put Tabasco on your sandwich, you might as well cut a whole in your jeans around your ass and stop wearing underwear. Eat pussy, don't be a pussy - put Tabasco on your sandwich.
Wheat Bread - Wheat reminds me of my brown skin.
If you don't have these ingredients, then you will need to find a deli where you can make your own sandwich. Luckily for me, there is a place right across the street from where I work that allows you to make your own sandwiches. Perfect - it is at this location that I will be giving instructions on how to make a sandwich like a man.
Deli's are usually broken down very conviently for those of you who are just learning how to make a sandwich like man. As you can see, all the ingredients you need to make your perfect sandwich are located in one section - while all the crap ass healthy bullshit is in another section.
First, slap on the mustard and then a little bit of mayonnaise. A little bit of Tabasco gets put on, not a lot as you don't want to make your Mexican-Skin-Lookin Wheat Bread Soggy.
Then start piling on various types of meat, not just all one kind of course, but mix it up. And keep putting Tabasco sauce on between the different layers of meat. On the other slice of bread, we start layering our various cheeses. Our goal at this point is to get the sandwich to weigh anywhere between 1 to 1 1/2 pounds. Anything over 1 1/2 pounds would just be ridiculous. Mix & match your cheeses & your meats (with splashes of Tabasco sauce) until you have reached your goal.
Weigh it to make sure it falls into the proper man guidelines.
We can't have a sandwich made for a man without a beer. I go to my desk and open my drawer up to find my nice little stash of liquor, beer is on top and the hard stuff is underneath.
The last piece of the perfect sandwich before we chow down - is to place your chips on the sandwich. Placing chips on the sandwich comes last as to keep your chips fresh and crunchy.
With our beer, we have now just completed making the perfect sandwich. A perfect sandwich made by a man, for a man.
This my gentle readers, is how it is done. To see the various layers, here is a picture of the half way mark through the sandwich:
When you are completely finished eating the perfect sandwich made for a man:
and if you look like this:
Then you have properly made a sandwich like a man
Pussy Sandwiches....good times, good times
I'm sick and tired of people making pansy sandwiches. I want meat, cheese and chips. That's it!
I DON'T FUCKING NEED ALL THAT GREEN HEALTHY BULLSHIT
And we definitely don't want to have tomatoes on our sandwiches as we have learned in the past that tomatoes are for the bedroom, not for sandwiches.
I'm going to show you how to make a sandwich like a man.
A Manwich.
Women, take notes as you will need these sure fire tips on making a proper sandwich like a man. Make him a sandwich he'd be proud of by keeping that smile on his face even when you're not on your knees.
What you need:
Meat - what every true man (hunter) needs. You need meat, lots of it and with a variety of it.
Cheese - You'd have a pussy sandwich if............................good times, good times. You'd have a pansy sandwich if you didn't have a lot of and a variety of cheese.
Chips - Every perfect sandwich needs chips on the sandwich - this is common knowledge and if you didn't know this, your retarded. If you didn't get the joke in that last sentence, you really are retarded.
Mustard - MUSTARD, none of the pussy whipped Dijon Mustard or other crap that is watered down, you need mustard - good hard clean original yellow mutha-fuckin mustard.
Mayonnaise - Just a little bit, unless you are trying to keep your mullet properly greased.
Tabasco - We are making a sandwich like a man and you need Tabasco or something hotter if available like "Dave's Insanity Sauce" on your sandwich. If you don't put Tabasco on your sandwich, you might as well cut a whole in your jeans around your ass and stop wearing underwear. Eat pussy, don't be a pussy - put Tabasco on your sandwich.
Wheat Bread - Wheat reminds me of my brown skin.
If you don't have these ingredients, then you will need to find a deli where you can make your own sandwich. Luckily for me, there is a place right across the street from where I work that allows you to make your own sandwiches. Perfect - it is at this location that I will be giving instructions on how to make a sandwich like a man.
Deli's are usually broken down very conviently for those of you who are just learning how to make a sandwich like man. As you can see, all the ingredients you need to make your perfect sandwich are located in one section - while all the crap ass healthy bullshit is in another section.
First, slap on the mustard and then a little bit of mayonnaise. A little bit of Tabasco gets put on, not a lot as you don't want to make your Mexican-Skin-Lookin Wheat Bread Soggy.
Then start piling on various types of meat, not just all one kind of course, but mix it up. And keep putting Tabasco sauce on between the different layers of meat. On the other slice of bread, we start layering our various cheeses. Our goal at this point is to get the sandwich to weigh anywhere between 1 to 1 1/2 pounds. Anything over 1 1/2 pounds would just be ridiculous. Mix & match your cheeses & your meats (with splashes of Tabasco sauce) until you have reached your goal.
Weigh it to make sure it falls into the proper man guidelines.
We can't have a sandwich made for a man without a beer. I go to my desk and open my drawer up to find my nice little stash of liquor, beer is on top and the hard stuff is underneath.
The last piece of the perfect sandwich before we chow down - is to place your chips on the sandwich. Placing chips on the sandwich comes last as to keep your chips fresh and crunchy.
With our beer, we have now just completed making the perfect sandwich. A perfect sandwich made by a man, for a man.
This my gentle readers, is how it is done. To see the various layers, here is a picture of the half way mark through the sandwich:
When you are completely finished eating the perfect sandwich made for a man:
and if you look like this:
Then you have properly made a sandwich like a man
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