Ugly People Suck and That's the Ugly Truth

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Role of Good Looks in Love

"If you want to be loved by somebody who isn't already in your family, it doesn't hurt to be beautiful."
Jeanne, age 8

"It isn't always how you look. Look at me. I'm handsome like anything and I haven't got anybody to marry me yet."
Gary, age 7

"Beauty is skin deep. But how rich you are can last a long time."
Christine, age 9

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I know this may sound like a shock, but I'm not the best dancer. Before you get on my case about how wonderful I made myself sound, let me just point out that I have never said I was a great dancer, I just said I loved to dance.

You just automatically assumed I was a great dancer because Nobody Rocks Like Me. Hell, I can't blame you for thinking like that, because typically that assumption would be correct. Only, when it comes to dancing I'm not the best.

I have a friend who is very attractive and she is an amazing dancer. Sometimes I get all amped up and get so excited that I go off beat....the thing about me going off beat is that I'm never behind the beat, I'm always ahead of the beat going to fast.

I basically look like George W. Bush on crack trying to do the cabbage patch.

Not pretty.

So my attractive friend started calling me "Quickie".

Quickie?

Yeah, you heard me.....Quickie.

Now typically I would want to immediately shout out to anyone who is within ear shot that there is no way I'm "Quickie"; because, having a nickname like "Quickie", can cause enormous amounts of anguish, psychological and emotional pains for a male.

Besides I have a reputation to protect for the well being of all womanhood.

Quickie is probably the worst nickname a male can possibly have...

So now we are Salsa dancing and I'm staying on beat. I usually stay on beat when I can feel the music and I'm feeling the music and all of a sudden I pull a new move out that goes with the music, it was perfect, I was like Patrick Swayze in flip flops. My friend is impressed with the move and says, "That was cute."

What the....???

I do a kick ass-stop-serving-dinner-and-look-at-me-move and all you can say is that it was cute?

You should be picking your jaw up off the ground slobbering like a goofy bastard as you shout out, "That was FUCKIN awesome!!!"

Not cute.

No!!!!!

No Juan Travolta Way.

So let me get this straight, I do a "cute" move and I'm nicknamed "Quickie"?

I normally at this point would point out to my friend how much they should be thanking me for, not only taking the time to dance with them but talking to them and flashing my Clark Gable smile at them....they should be on their knees asking what they could do for me, or to me, for granting them such a joyous experience of dancing with me....not telling me how "cute" my moves are or how my new nickname is "Quickie".

However, my friend being a very attractive woman...as in The Tamale Lady attractiveness, I didn't mind at all.

Hell, because she is fine she can tell the world that not only am I nicknamed "Quickie", but I am also "Tiny" and I wouldn't care because she is Tamale Lady Beautiful.

That my gentle readers, is the way our society is.

If you're drop dead gorgeous, then you can get away with anything. You can say anything and do anything and you will always get a free ride. A lesser penalty for your actions because you are good looking.

If you're not attractive, then you don't get a second chance, hell you will be stepped on from the person behind you as they try to climb the ladder of success if you're butt ass ugly.

The Ugly Truth is if You're Ugly you won't get shit in life.

You might as well just kill yourself.

Lets take a look at another Valtrex Commercial I have recently seen.

The music comes on .....

LIVVVVVVVVIN THE LIFE YOU WAAAAAAANT

A very attractive female walks out of her house onto her porch. She leans up against her porch while she gazes off into the distance of her property as the sunset brings a beautiful purple yellowish glow across her land.

Then the deep male voice comes on over the music.

"Valtrex is the only once-a-day antiviral product, which has proven effective in suppressing future genital herpes outbreaks in adults with a normal immune systems. You should be happy to know that now you can continue to be that whore that everyone loves to get diseases from."

At this point a good looking male comes from around the other side of the porch, and as if soul mates are seeing each other for the first time, they run to each other and hold each other as the camera cuts away as the deep male voice continues to talk about the amazing medicine that helps reduce outbreaks of herpes.

The camera cuts back to the good looking soul mates who are now dancing on the porch with the sunset in the background looking happy. They look in love as they dance on the porch without a care in the world even though they have contracted a disease that there is no cure for.

The music comes back on strong as the couple dances in the sunset

LIVVVVVVVVIN THE LIFE YOU WAAAAAAANT

Then the fast talker comes on talking about all the side effects that Valtrex can cause up to including death....or, whatever the side effects are.

If the actor & actress were ugly, there is no way on God's green earth that they would ever be able to find a date. Even if they don't have herpes, the mere fact that they were acting as if they had herpes would cause enough doubt for possible suitors to shout - "ITS THE HERPE SLUT!"

However, because they are good looking, it won't matter what they are "acting" to have as any potential suitors will be more than happy to be with them and even over look the fact that they might have an incurable disease.

Suitors would be so infatuated with them that they won't even use a condom, and that's the Ugly Truth.

Why do you think the Make-Over shows are so popular?

Because deep down everyone wants to be good looking....deep down we know that we let good looking people get away with more than we would let an Ugly person get away with and we want to be that good looking person who has those extra benefits.

"No Timmy, You're Wrong. Beauty is only skin deep as true beauty is within....so no Timmy, you are so wrong on this issue."

Shut your pie hole you ugly mother fucker.

Step out of YOUR ugly world and into THE world because you will get no where in life thinking like that.

Reality is good looking people get farther in life than ugly people.

And that my gentle readers, is the Ugly Truth.