Pope-eye's Chicken Is Fucking Awesome
I saw the announcement of the Pope Benedict being introduced as the new Pope. It was in the morning and I should have been at work, but I was watching this important moment in history.
What does the Pope do you ask? Well, if you had asked me 2 months ago, I would have said, "trying to stay alive" but that joke sets some people off about how inconsiderate and a jackass I am....but it still makes me laugh so I still say it because the new Pope, Pope Benedict meets the minimum age requirement of 75 years old coming in at an even 78 years and is desperately trying to stay alive (how's that for a runon). I saw him walk....err, I mean wobble to the
podium to make his speech, and while he was talking his hand was shaking so much I actually started feeling weak.
The picture to the left just freaks the hell out of me - why? Cause he looks like he's been poping.... so now when asked what the Pope does, I think it is safe to say that the Pope - popes.....that's the look of the picture - he's been poping. Poping is the look one has when they have been up to no good in the Alter Boy's Locker room with a bag full of bite size chocolate candy bars.
I was really hoping that the Catholic church, in hopes of rebuilding their creditability after all of the Molestation scandals, was going to make a reality TV show out of selecting the next Pope.
Something like having 12 potential Popes all living under the same roof with 6 bedrooms, so the Pope hopefuls would have to room up with each other. Each week a Pope hopeful would be voted off by the people watching the show and the roommate who did not get voted off would have "God Protection" for the next week of voting. Essentially he'd be guaranteed to stay another two weeks.
Games would include stuff like, finding a Virgin Mary image in a potato chip; buying antique statues of the crucifixion that can produce blood; and my personal favorite - taking viagra and see who can last the longest without an erection. The "Pope" awards for winning games would include stuff like, lifetime memberships to a massage therapist (since they only have about 4 years to live it won't be that expensive); a full make-over, and free access to kiddy porn.
I'd watch that, I'd be learning more about the way of the Catholic and being able to take part of history voting for my favorite Pope.
The Pope would come out smelling like fresh pope-pourri….or something like that.
Ideas From An Illegal
I'm going to be making some changes to the website, moving things around and deleting things, and this time I will begin to start scripting all my picture archives so if you don't know how to read and just like to look at pictures, it will all be set up for your dumb ass to just point & click.
I also have some new ideas that I will be writing about.
My first one will be selecting a coworker to observe and make fun of that will be included on my regular posts. Now, I know that I have coworkers who read this and will want to know who it is about and will be praying that it won't be them; however, I will not tell you so do not ask me.....more and more people are getting fired for blogging about coworkers - so why would I do this? Well, cause I can and I like living on the wild side. If I do get fired, I will be posting as much personal information about this individual as I possibly can, but until then, I will be very vague about this person except for my observations.
I also will be producing the Second Edition of the T! Magazine that gained world recognition. I already have my topic and I just need to finish writing the articles.
Now that I have a laptop I thought I might as well utilize it in my blogging world - I will be trying a few live posts updating like every 30 or 60 minutes or something - I'm calling it "TIMMY! live!" - cause no one has ever-ever thought of such an idea before, I know this because I looked through the archives of two other blogs and they have never done it.
Finger My Chili
The infamous Chili scandal. For those of you who don't know, a tip of a finger was found in a bowl of Chili in a National fast food chain restaurant called, Wendy's - the woman bit into the finger....the lady was arrested later as she planted the finger. Police still don't know where the rest of the body is that was connected to the finger. Anyways, Wendy's has taken a major hit in the financial department due to this incident for obvious reasons. The greatest thing about this whole thing, is that the exact Wendy's that has gotten national attention, is in the city I live in.
What's a tall Mexican with blonde highlights supposed to do? I go there to have lunch because lets be honest, people are still freaked out about finding a toe or a finger in their food so I knew that there wouldn't be any lines at lunch time. I took Julie McCoy with me because he's Nicaraguan and those fuckers eat anything even if there is a finger in their food.
I purchase the meal I want and then a bowl of chili for the hell of it. I brought my camera with me and I planned on having Julie McCoy take my picture in front of Wendy's holding up a bowl of Chili. Then I was going to blog about it....goood times, good times.
After the meal, I hand Julie McCoy the camera and say, "let's go."
He looks at me concerned like my name is Ron Mexico and I just asked to have unprotected sex with him and says, "You were serious? You really want me to take your picture?"
After I slapped the back of his head to knock some sense into him, we head outside. On the sidewalk were two lesbians holding hands, and Julie McCoy was obviously uncomfortable taking my picture in a public place holding up a bowl of chili while two lesbians held each other and watched. I tell Julie McCoy to make sure to get the "Wendy's" sign in the background because the whole point of this thing was to show my bowl of chili standing in front of Wendy's.
I figure it would be somewhat funnier if I stand next to a handicap sign while I hold the bowl of chili with the "more meat" side facing towards the camera. I give my best "ew" pose and he takes the picture and he blurts out, "okay lets go" all nervous like we were spies and planned to eventually sell the picture to a Communist country.
I run over to him to see how the picture looked and Julie McCoy cut off the Wendy's sign at the top of the building - apparently he was trying to make sure my muscular legs were in the shot. I reminded him how important it was for us to get the Wendy's sign in the picture with me and told him to just get my upper body with the bowl and to make sure to get the sign. Then I reminded him that we will never see the Wendy lesbians again and who cares that we are outside of Wendy's taking pictures.
He starts sweating while beginning to breath harder and I get back into my "ew" pose underneath the Handicap sign in front of Wendy's. He takes the picture and tells me he has it and runs off to my car like the Wendy police will arrest his Nicaguaran ass and deport him.
Unfortunately for me, the twat cut the entire Wendy sign off. I didn't know this until we were back in the car, and by then it wasn't worth to go back out and take yet another picture.
I never realized he was so uncomfortable in public settings - this is nice information to know and I look forward to the next time that I can make him squirm - and I'll be blogging about it.
Due to the fact that Julie McCoy blew my post by taking shit ass pictures, I've decided that I will be taking more pictures myself - I'm going to be coming up with various ideas to not only blog about, but also to take pictures of. This should be interesting - if you have any ideas let me know - unless it is completely illegal and/or dumb (which will be determined by me) I'll do it.
What does the Pope do you ask? Well, if you had asked me 2 months ago, I would have said, "trying to stay alive" but that joke sets some people off about how inconsiderate and a jackass I am....but it still makes me laugh so I still say it because the new Pope, Pope Benedict meets the minimum age requirement of 75 years old coming in at an even 78 years and is desperately trying to stay alive (how's that for a runon). I saw him walk....err, I mean wobble to the
podium to make his speech, and while he was talking his hand was shaking so much I actually started feeling weak.The picture to the left just freaks the hell out of me - why? Cause he looks like he's been poping.... so now when asked what the Pope does, I think it is safe to say that the Pope - popes.....that's the look of the picture - he's been poping. Poping is the look one has when they have been up to no good in the Alter Boy's Locker room with a bag full of bite size chocolate candy bars.
I was really hoping that the Catholic church, in hopes of rebuilding their creditability after all of the Molestation scandals, was going to make a reality TV show out of selecting the next Pope.
Something like having 12 potential Popes all living under the same roof with 6 bedrooms, so the Pope hopefuls would have to room up with each other. Each week a Pope hopeful would be voted off by the people watching the show and the roommate who did not get voted off would have "God Protection" for the next week of voting. Essentially he'd be guaranteed to stay another two weeks.
Games would include stuff like, finding a Virgin Mary image in a potato chip; buying antique statues of the crucifixion that can produce blood; and my personal favorite - taking viagra and see who can last the longest without an erection. The "Pope" awards for winning games would include stuff like, lifetime memberships to a massage therapist (since they only have about 4 years to live it won't be that expensive); a full make-over, and free access to kiddy porn.
I'd watch that, I'd be learning more about the way of the Catholic and being able to take part of history voting for my favorite Pope.
The Pope would come out smelling like fresh pope-pourri….or something like that.
Ideas From An Illegal
I'm going to be making some changes to the website, moving things around and deleting things, and this time I will begin to start scripting all my picture archives so if you don't know how to read and just like to look at pictures, it will all be set up for your dumb ass to just point & click.
I also have some new ideas that I will be writing about.
My first one will be selecting a coworker to observe and make fun of that will be included on my regular posts. Now, I know that I have coworkers who read this and will want to know who it is about and will be praying that it won't be them; however, I will not tell you so do not ask me.....more and more people are getting fired for blogging about coworkers - so why would I do this? Well, cause I can and I like living on the wild side. If I do get fired, I will be posting as much personal information about this individual as I possibly can, but until then, I will be very vague about this person except for my observations.
I also will be producing the Second Edition of the T! Magazine that gained world recognition. I already have my topic and I just need to finish writing the articles.
Now that I have a laptop I thought I might as well utilize it in my blogging world - I will be trying a few live posts updating like every 30 or 60 minutes or something - I'm calling it "TIMMY! live!" - cause no one has ever-ever thought of such an idea before, I know this because I looked through the archives of two other blogs and they have never done it.
Finger My Chili
The infamous Chili scandal. For those of you who don't know, a tip of a finger was found in a bowl of Chili in a National fast food chain restaurant called, Wendy's - the woman bit into the finger....the lady was arrested later as she planted the finger. Police still don't know where the rest of the body is that was connected to the finger. Anyways, Wendy's has taken a major hit in the financial department due to this incident for obvious reasons. The greatest thing about this whole thing, is that the exact Wendy's that has gotten national attention, is in the city I live in.
What's a tall Mexican with blonde highlights supposed to do? I go there to have lunch because lets be honest, people are still freaked out about finding a toe or a finger in their food so I knew that there wouldn't be any lines at lunch time. I took Julie McCoy with me because he's Nicaraguan and those fuckers eat anything even if there is a finger in their food.
I purchase the meal I want and then a bowl of chili for the hell of it. I brought my camera with me and I planned on having Julie McCoy take my picture in front of Wendy's holding up a bowl of Chili. Then I was going to blog about it....goood times, good times.
After the meal, I hand Julie McCoy the camera and say, "let's go."
He looks at me concerned like my name is Ron Mexico and I just asked to have unprotected sex with him and says, "You were serious? You really want me to take your picture?"
After I slapped the back of his head to knock some sense into him, we head outside. On the sidewalk were two lesbians holding hands, and Julie McCoy was obviously uncomfortable taking my picture in a public place holding up a bowl of chili while two lesbians held each other and watched. I tell Julie McCoy to make sure to get the "Wendy's" sign in the background because the whole point of this thing was to show my bowl of chili standing in front of Wendy's.
I figure it would be somewhat funnier if I stand next to a handicap sign while I hold the bowl of chili with the "more meat" side facing towards the camera. I give my best "ew" pose and he takes the picture and he blurts out, "okay lets go" all nervous like we were spies and planned to eventually sell the picture to a Communist country.
I run over to him to see how the picture looked and Julie McCoy cut off the Wendy's sign at the top of the building - apparently he was trying to make sure my muscular legs were in the shot. I reminded him how important it was for us to get the Wendy's sign in the picture with me and told him to just get my upper body with the bowl and to make sure to get the sign. Then I reminded him that we will never see the Wendy lesbians again and who cares that we are outside of Wendy's taking pictures.
He starts sweating while beginning to breath harder and I get back into my "ew" pose underneath the Handicap sign in front of Wendy's. He takes the picture and tells me he has it and runs off to my car like the Wendy police will arrest his Nicaguaran ass and deport him.
Unfortunately for me, the twat cut the entire Wendy sign off. I didn't know this until we were back in the car, and by then it wasn't worth to go back out and take yet another picture.
I never realized he was so uncomfortable in public settings - this is nice information to know and I look forward to the next time that I can make him squirm - and I'll be blogging about it.
Due to the fact that Julie McCoy blew my post by taking shit ass pictures, I've decided that I will be taking more pictures myself - I'm going to be coming up with various ideas to not only blog about, but also to take pictures of. This should be interesting - if you have any ideas let me know - unless it is completely illegal and/or dumb (which will be determined by me) I'll do it.
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