Father Knows Best

 
Our Mother, who art in heaven?

.....uhhh, no.

Father Knows Best period.


Little Mermaid
Disney's 28th animated masterpiece is an under the sea classic. Ariel, the fun-loving and mischievous mermaid, is enchanted with all things that are human. Disregarding her father's order to stay away from the world above the sea, she swims to the surface and, in a raging storm, rescues the prince of her dreams. Ariel must win the prince's love and save her father's kingdom -- in the end her father, King Triton, gives her legs so she can be with the man of her dreams. It is completely obvious by watching this film that her mother abandoned Ariel and her sisters because she didn't love them.



Bambi
The critically acclaimed coming-of-age story that has thrilled and entertained generations of fans. This grand adventure is full of humor, heart, and one of the most beloved characters of all time that sparked numerous stripper names -- Bambi, the wide-eyed fawn. Because Mother's aren't needed, Walt Disney had the bitch murdered.





THE APPLE DUMPLING GANG
You will laugh your ass off with this great comedy that includes Tim Conway and Don Knotts who can't hit the side of a barn with a 6-piece. The hilarity begins when a roving father-like figure (Bill Bixby) inherits three young orphans as women can't properly raise children. When the youngsters stumble upon a huge golden nugget, they must fend off the greedy townspeople. So the kids join forces with the bumbling outlaws to stage a robbery of the gold. If you're aiming for fun, saddle up and head out with THE APPLE DUMPLING GANG with no mother figures.



PINOCCHIO
An unforgettable cast of characters that includes kindly old wonderful father Geppetto that created Pinocchio; the spry Jiminy Cricket; the sneaky J. Worthington Foulfellow; a monster of a whale named Monstro; and, of course, the little puppet made of wood, Pinocchio. Let us not forget the never seen, never spoken about character that doesn't exist, the mother.






FINDING NEMO
Another soon to be classic where the mother gets killed at the beginning of the movie. Nemo, an adventurous young clownfish, is taken to a dentist's office aquarium. It's up to Marlin (Albert Brooks), his worrisome father, and Dory (Ellen DeGeneres) Nemo's future step-mom, to make the epic journey to bring Nemo home. Because of Marlin's undying love for his child and unwavering courage, he ultimately finds the little clownfish and brings him home.



THE GNOME MOBILE
Northern California's majestic Redwood Forest is the scene for a chance encounter between two young children (Mathew Garber, Karen Dotrice - the Mary Poppins kids) and Jasper (Tom Lowell), a two-foot-high gnome. Jasper has been desperately searching for a suitable bride to please Knobby (Walter Brennan), his 900-year-old grandfather. Surprised and delighted with their find, the children and the children's grandfather, D.B. Mulrooney, (duel role played by Walter Brennan) agree to help Jasper with his predicament. As the plot develops, an opportunistic freak-show entrepreneur tries to kidnap the gnomes for his own personal wealth. The film ends with a game of "Greased Gnome" to find his bride. The film does a wonderful job showcasing how wonderful life can turn out with father figures and not one single mother figure throughout the film.



BEAUTY AND BEAST
This timeless story won the prestigious Golden Globe for Best Picture and is the only animated film ever nominated for a Best Picture Academy Award® (1991). The action takes place in a quaint French village during the late 18th century, where the beautiful Belle finds escape from her ordinary existence -- and boorish suitors like Gaston -- by reading books. But when she accepts to be a prisoner to save her father from a hideous beast (actually an enchanted prince), only true love can save the day. By analyzing this wonderful classic, you will see that Belle's mother committed suicide while leaving her father to properly raise Belle into a wonderful kind hearted woman.



DARBY O'GILL AND THE LITTLE PEOPLE
Take a wee bit of ancient folklore, mix in some spectacular special effects and a magical cast (including Sean Connery) -- and you've got one of the most enchanting fantasies of all time with the only mother in the film being a manipulative conniving bitch. The main character is a frisky old storyteller and loving father named Darby O'Gill. One of Darby's tall tales comes true when he captures the King of the Leprechauns (King Brian), who must grant him three wishes. Darby ultimately uses one of his wishes, to save his daughter's life as Walt Disney proves once again that when it comes right down to it, mother's aren't needed and father knows best.



ALADDIN
Soar away on a magic carpet ride with Robin Williams the voice of the Genie in this nonstop thrills of fun adventure. Aladdin and his mischievous monkey, Abu, battle to save the free-spirited Princess Jasmine while her father is under a horrific spell. I haven't figured out what happened to the mother on this film yet, but I have a feeling she had an affair and ran off with a lowly peasant. Anyways, back to the film, Aladdin's whole life changes with one rub of a magic lamp as a fun-loving, shape-shifting Genie appears and grants him three wishes. Through his adventures, Aladdin proves that he is a prince where it truly matters most -- on the inside. Princess Jasmin's father changes the law of the land so she can marry her true love showing how awesome father's are. Princess Jasmine and Aladdin live happily ever after without a mother and no mother-in-law.



Lion King
Simba, the feisty lion cub who "just can't wait to be king" finds himself outed by his envious Uncle Scar who has plans for his own ascent to the throne, and he forces Simba's exile from the kingdom. Alone and adrift, Simba soon joins the escapades of a hilarious meerkat named Timon and his warmhearted warthog pal, Pumbaa. Adopting their carefree lifestyle of "Hakuna Matata," Simba ignores his real responsibilities. Simba's mother is seen and not heard while his father is killed, but even in death, Disney shows that mother's are not needed as Simba talks to his father's spirit realizing his destiny and returns to the Pride Lands to claim his place in the "Circle of Life."



CHITTY CHITTY BANG BANG
Caractacus Potts (Dick Van Dyke), an eccentric inventor, his two children and his lady friend, Truly Scrumptious (Ann Howes), go on a picnic, where they are soon whisked into a magical world of pirates, castles and a flying car that they name lovingly, Chitty Chitty Bang Bang. A fantasmagorical film showing that true parent love doesn't come from mothers, but from fathers and getting re-married is the way to live happily ever after.