My Life Is STILL Better Than Yours
Status update. I’m going to die.
{thick Mexican accent} jussssssss keeeeding
No seriously, I’m going to die.
Someday that is.
I have high iron in my blood – I’m not going to die because of it. Thank you to everyone who left their concerns and fuck all of you from the bottom of my heart who visited and didn’t mention it to me and/or leave a comment. I will figure out who you are by your IP address and I will personally pay a gypsy to put a curse on you. Anyways, I have high iron in my blood. What does that mean? “Dammit Jim I’m not a doctor.” Oh wait, that isn’t how the quote goes. Eh.
Two things I have discovered since I learned I was Mr. Ironman.
The Pill and condoms cannot stop my ironman seamen. Look out ladies.
I can’t get a reception with my satellite Sirrus radio unless I leave the room
I haven’t figured out what kind of super ironman powers I have yet, but let me be the first to tell you that I will be trying out a lot of things to see if they work. As in, closing my eyes really hard to make myself go invisible and going into the women’s bathroom, trying to breath under water, trying to crash through concrete walls with my shoulder. I don’t know what I can do yet, but I’ll find out and I’ll be blogging about it. Stay tuned to this ironman channel for more ironman exploits.
Now, you might be sitting there reading this wondering why I haven’t changed the title of my blog to something that is more descriptive of my current situation. Like, “My Life Sucks Beaner Ass.”
I have a wrecked car, to much iron in my blood, I had a co-worker take a sudden nose dive in his health and lose his battle with cancer this month, and other issues that will make you think I’m a pathetic loser. All these things happened THIS month in January.
You are probably wondering why I don’t drain some of my ironman blood out, freeze it into a bullet and shoot myself with my own blood committing suicide because you think my life sucks so bad.
Well, even though it may seem like my life is falling apart and my entire world is collapsing, My Life Is STILL Better Than Yours.
How is that possible TIMMY!? Your life sucks more than Paris Hilton.
Okay Firrrrrrrrst of all….
Paris Hilton can’t suck shit. I’ve seen the video okay, not only is she a skinny crack bitch that carries around her fucking ugly dog everywhere like a clothing accessory, she can’t give a good blow job. I actually felt sorry for the chump getting the hummer in the video.
Lets tear this question apart like a juicy tomato. Besides the obvious that Nobody Rocks Like Me, my life is better than yours because I have a passion to live. My glass is always half full….well, unless it is half filled with alcohol and then it is half empty and then I need a refill. Refill pronto, “Here Bar Wench!”
I LOVE THIS LIFE!
Period mother fucker. Period.
It is the sole reason why my life will always be better than yours. I could have died in that car accident or I could die from iron poisoning or whatever…and my life will still be better than yours.
Because I love life more than you.
I just wish I knew how I was going to die so I could blog about it and bring laughs to people one last time.
Back to point….because I love life, the entire world could crash on me and I would still find humor in it and love life.
No matter what happens to me and no matter what The Man takes from me, my life will always be better than yours.
Because I Love To Live Life.
I have no ride. So I am basically stuck on other people’s schedule and completely dependant on them. Which sucks, but it gives them the opportunity to spend time with me which is like spending time with Jesus Christ.
He’s JC, I’m TJ….do you see the privilege I give to those less fortunate of not being me?
Why do I do that? Cause I’m a great guy.
The other night I went to Karaoke, and you know the same ‘ol same ‘ol from everyone that goes, “I MIGHT sing if I get really drunk”…and blah blah blah. That is why your life sucks and mine is better than yours. You don’t know how to live life. You don’t know how to enjoy life, when the opportunity is there you cease it and LIVE life.
Because it isn’t wise to drink for me right now, I am completely sober when these pictures were taken.
Reason #2,476 why My Life Is Better Than Yours.
I know how to live.
{thick Mexican accent} jussssssss keeeeding
No seriously, I’m going to die.
Someday that is.
I have high iron in my blood – I’m not going to die because of it. Thank you to everyone who left their concerns and fuck all of you from the bottom of my heart who visited and didn’t mention it to me and/or leave a comment. I will figure out who you are by your IP address and I will personally pay a gypsy to put a curse on you. Anyways, I have high iron in my blood. What does that mean? “Dammit Jim I’m not a doctor.” Oh wait, that isn’t how the quote goes. Eh.
Two things I have discovered since I learned I was Mr. Ironman.
I haven’t figured out what kind of super ironman powers I have yet, but let me be the first to tell you that I will be trying out a lot of things to see if they work. As in, closing my eyes really hard to make myself go invisible and going into the women’s bathroom, trying to breath under water, trying to crash through concrete walls with my shoulder. I don’t know what I can do yet, but I’ll find out and I’ll be blogging about it. Stay tuned to this ironman channel for more ironman exploits.
Now, you might be sitting there reading this wondering why I haven’t changed the title of my blog to something that is more descriptive of my current situation. Like, “My Life Sucks Beaner Ass.”
I have a wrecked car, to much iron in my blood, I had a co-worker take a sudden nose dive in his health and lose his battle with cancer this month, and other issues that will make you think I’m a pathetic loser. All these things happened THIS month in January.
You are probably wondering why I don’t drain some of my ironman blood out, freeze it into a bullet and shoot myself with my own blood committing suicide because you think my life sucks so bad.
Well, even though it may seem like my life is falling apart and my entire world is collapsing, My Life Is STILL Better Than Yours.
How is that possible TIMMY!? Your life sucks more than Paris Hilton.
Okay Firrrrrrrrst of all….
Paris Hilton can’t suck shit. I’ve seen the video okay, not only is she a skinny crack bitch that carries around her fucking ugly dog everywhere like a clothing accessory, she can’t give a good blow job. I actually felt sorry for the chump getting the hummer in the video.
Lets tear this question apart like a juicy tomato. Besides the obvious that Nobody Rocks Like Me, my life is better than yours because I have a passion to live. My glass is always half full….well, unless it is half filled with alcohol and then it is half empty and then I need a refill. Refill pronto, “Here Bar Wench!”
I LOVE THIS LIFE!
Period mother fucker. Period.
It is the sole reason why my life will always be better than yours. I could have died in that car accident or I could die from iron poisoning or whatever…and my life will still be better than yours.
Because I love life more than you.
I just wish I knew how I was going to die so I could blog about it and bring laughs to people one last time.
Back to point….because I love life, the entire world could crash on me and I would still find humor in it and love life.
No matter what happens to me and no matter what The Man takes from me, my life will always be better than yours.
Because I Love To Live Life.
I have no ride. So I am basically stuck on other people’s schedule and completely dependant on them. Which sucks, but it gives them the opportunity to spend time with me which is like spending time with Jesus Christ.
He’s JC, I’m TJ….do you see the privilege I give to those less fortunate of not being me?
Why do I do that? Cause I’m a great guy.
The other night I went to Karaoke, and you know the same ‘ol same ‘ol from everyone that goes, “I MIGHT sing if I get really drunk”…and blah blah blah. That is why your life sucks and mine is better than yours. You don’t know how to live life. You don’t know how to enjoy life, when the opportunity is there you cease it and LIVE life.
Because it isn’t wise to drink for me right now, I am completely sober when these pictures were taken.
Reason #2,476 why My Life Is Better Than Yours.
I know how to live.
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