Ling-Ling Meets Mexizilla
"Being a ballroom dance instructor, I should tell you that you will be propositioned by 50 and 60 year olds..."
"Fred!" Ginger yelled out.
"Well, he needs to know these things, he's a good looking kid and I'm just telling him the truth."
Thus began my career as a ballroom dance instructor.
The first rule that was given to me was not to sleep with my students no matter how close their boobs came to touching the ground or how old and crusty they may appear - I am not allowed to sleep with my students.
That's a good thing, cause I envision that it would be a very awkward moment to be getting your groove on horizontally, getting sweaty, getting passionate and grinding none stop as you pull the panties off and moths come flying out.
Uhhhh, yeah, that would just be weird.
So thank you to Fred and Ginger for giving me that sound advice.
Now obviously Fred and Ginger are fictitious names since I'm working for the Fred Astaire franchise, and for those of you that are and not cultured - Fred Astaire and Ginger Rodgers are legendary dancers.
I've been studying with this attractive Asian lady, hereinafter shall be referred to as, "Ling-Ling" because she owns her own Beauty/Nail Salon and has a very thick accent.
So as Ling-Ling and I are training together we exchange numbers so we could get together sometime to dance. Nice thought at the time, but now she is calling me up to ask if I want to dance with her in 1 hour on a Thursday afternoon - uhhh, sorry Ling-Ling, I don't own a beauty salon that gives blow jobs in the back that I can just shut down and run off to dance with you on a 1 hour notice.
We set up a time for the coming Saturday to dance together at a place that she always dances at. I meet her at her salon so I can follow her to this place because I couldn't understand her when she was describing the directions to me. Besides I only want to dance for like 2 hours and then ditch out so driving two cars seemed like the way to go for me.
I walk up to the salon just as she is locking up and she is wearing a short....SHORT skirt, low cut top and her hair all done.
"We can take one car - yes? yes take one car."
*rolling eyes*
I open the door for her on my passenger side and walk around to the driver side I start feeling like this is some sort of date. We head off and she gives me some instructions on where we are going, and it is one of the worst areas of town. As in, I should have gaffled my dad's bullet proof vest bad.
We park at an Asian shopping center and I don't see any signs "dancing"....nightclubs, or anything. We get out and she leads me on this weird maze through the Asian shopping center and I'm starting to get worried about being raped by this seemingly innocent beauty salon owner. We enter a building that looks like a cafe and I think that maybe we are going to get dinner first....so I start looking at the Asian writing thinking that I will some how understand it if I stare long enough when I hear my name called out...."TCHEY".....that's "TJ" with an Asian accent.
"Tchey! Ovah he-ah"
I look over and she is going through a backdoor that no one else is going through, I follow my little Ling-Ling through the door and down the hallway. I'm starting to wonder if we will end up at some kind of underground Kung-Fu to the death match or something that you read about Americans going to and never coming out of. We come to a door and she pushes it open and there is a very nice dance floor with the music blaring by a DJ. Here we are...I'm not going to be raped by a little Asian woman...
dammit.
She tells me that we are at a Vietnamese Ballroom dance club. I could have figured that out by the mere fact that the tallest person in the place came up to my armpit.
I got a lot of flirtatious looks from the women and a lot of - "WTF" stares from the guys.
I'm sorry - I'm not the one that gave Asian men the stereotype of small cocks with straight pubic hairs so stop staring at me Kung Pao.
Ling-Ling was a freaking dance machine, she wanted to dance every dance and the only break I got was when one of her other little friends (and when I say little, I mean that in a physically short handicap type of way) would ask her to dance. Normally I could dance every single dance, but I didn't want to with her.
I noticed that a lot of the women have fucked up teeth. I mean, worse than the British – and that is saying something. Pretty women until they smile - It's a shock when they smile too because you are looking at someone attractive and then like a cannon blast they smile at you and the ugliness hits you like wasabi and goes straight to your brain and your face gets all distorted.
There were some very good dancers there - one of the differences is that they rotate the opposite direction as American dancers, I also noticed that everyone flowed gracefully, beautiful smooth dancers - but they didn't have a lot of Cuban motion...shaking the hips. I'm Latin so of course, my hips move naturally....
I'm obviously shaking my hips more than the rest on the dance floor and I'm already tall on the dance floor, but there in Asianville I was Mexizilla.
So I was sticking out like....well, I was sticking out like a Tall Mexican in an Asian Ballroom.
Four hours later of only getting about 3 breaks from dancing, people finally begin to leave. Ling-Ling and I head back to my car and off we go. I had originally only planned on dancing for about 2 hours and then ditching out, but here I was 4 hours later and now Ling-Ling wasn't taking me back to her car.....she was taking me on a 10 minute road trip where we pulled in front of some kind of 24 hour Asian restaurant; Asians are serious work aholics...now I know why they do so well in school.
Three other couples met us there - and here I am walking in with Ling-Ling and now I really feel like we are on some kind of a date....things didn't get better while I was sitting there and the women were talking in Vietnamese. They then would ask me a question in English like, "you have gulfiend?" I answer no and then they would start talking in Vietnamese again - look at me - smile, and keep talking obviously talking about the Mexizilla single status that Ling-Ling had brought with her to the dance.
Good thing I was Asian in another lifetime because I loved the food and ate everything up and enjoyed myself overall....I thought about asking the waiter if he had any tortillas because that would go just perfect with the meat I was eating, but I don't speak Vietnamese and didn't want to ask my new friends to translate for me. The waiter pretended to speak English - I knew this because he would look at me whenever I talked to him and he would just smile at me with a blank stare until someone else said something in Vietnamese...he would then shake his head approving.
2 hours I had planned on staying out and I finally made it home 7 hours later and came to the realization that Asian people are weird.
"Fred!" Ginger yelled out.
"Well, he needs to know these things, he's a good looking kid and I'm just telling him the truth."
Thus began my career as a ballroom dance instructor.
The first rule that was given to me was not to sleep with my students no matter how close their boobs came to touching the ground or how old and crusty they may appear - I am not allowed to sleep with my students.
That's a good thing, cause I envision that it would be a very awkward moment to be getting your groove on horizontally, getting sweaty, getting passionate and grinding none stop as you pull the panties off and moths come flying out.
Uhhhh, yeah, that would just be weird.
So thank you to Fred and Ginger for giving me that sound advice.
Now obviously Fred and Ginger are fictitious names since I'm working for the Fred Astaire franchise, and for those of you that are and not cultured - Fred Astaire and Ginger Rodgers are legendary dancers. I've been studying with this attractive Asian lady, hereinafter shall be referred to as, "Ling-Ling" because she owns her own Beauty/Nail Salon and has a very thick accent.
So as Ling-Ling and I are training together we exchange numbers so we could get together sometime to dance. Nice thought at the time, but now she is calling me up to ask if I want to dance with her in 1 hour on a Thursday afternoon - uhhh, sorry Ling-Ling, I don't own a beauty salon that gives blow jobs in the back that I can just shut down and run off to dance with you on a 1 hour notice.
We set up a time for the coming Saturday to dance together at a place that she always dances at. I meet her at her salon so I can follow her to this place because I couldn't understand her when she was describing the directions to me. Besides I only want to dance for like 2 hours and then ditch out so driving two cars seemed like the way to go for me.
I walk up to the salon just as she is locking up and she is wearing a short....SHORT skirt, low cut top and her hair all done.
"We can take one car - yes? yes take one car."
*rolling eyes*
I open the door for her on my passenger side and walk around to the driver side I start feeling like this is some sort of date. We head off and she gives me some instructions on where we are going, and it is one of the worst areas of town. As in, I should have gaffled my dad's bullet proof vest bad.
We park at an Asian shopping center and I don't see any signs "dancing"....nightclubs, or anything. We get out and she leads me on this weird maze through the Asian shopping center and I'm starting to get worried about being raped by this seemingly innocent beauty salon owner. We enter a building that looks like a cafe and I think that maybe we are going to get dinner first....so I start looking at the Asian writing thinking that I will some how understand it if I stare long enough when I hear my name called out...."TCHEY".....that's "TJ" with an Asian accent.
"Tchey! Ovah he-ah"
I look over and she is going through a backdoor that no one else is going through, I follow my little Ling-Ling through the door and down the hallway. I'm starting to wonder if we will end up at some kind of underground Kung-Fu to the death match or something that you read about Americans going to and never coming out of. We come to a door and she pushes it open and there is a very nice dance floor with the music blaring by a DJ. Here we are...I'm not going to be raped by a little Asian woman...
dammit.
She tells me that we are at a Vietnamese Ballroom dance club. I could have figured that out by the mere fact that the tallest person in the place came up to my armpit.
I got a lot of flirtatious looks from the women and a lot of - "WTF" stares from the guys.
I'm sorry - I'm not the one that gave Asian men the stereotype of small cocks with straight pubic hairs so stop staring at me Kung Pao.
Ling-Ling was a freaking dance machine, she wanted to dance every dance and the only break I got was when one of her other little friends (and when I say little, I mean that in a physically short handicap type of way) would ask her to dance. Normally I could dance every single dance, but I didn't want to with her.
I noticed that a lot of the women have fucked up teeth. I mean, worse than the British – and that is saying something. Pretty women until they smile - It's a shock when they smile too because you are looking at someone attractive and then like a cannon blast they smile at you and the ugliness hits you like wasabi and goes straight to your brain and your face gets all distorted.
There were some very good dancers there - one of the differences is that they rotate the opposite direction as American dancers, I also noticed that everyone flowed gracefully, beautiful smooth dancers - but they didn't have a lot of Cuban motion...shaking the hips. I'm Latin so of course, my hips move naturally....
I'm obviously shaking my hips more than the rest on the dance floor and I'm already tall on the dance floor, but there in Asianville I was Mexizilla.
So I was sticking out like....well, I was sticking out like a Tall Mexican in an Asian Ballroom.
Four hours later of only getting about 3 breaks from dancing, people finally begin to leave. Ling-Ling and I head back to my car and off we go. I had originally only planned on dancing for about 2 hours and then ditching out, but here I was 4 hours later and now Ling-Ling wasn't taking me back to her car.....she was taking me on a 10 minute road trip where we pulled in front of some kind of 24 hour Asian restaurant; Asians are serious work aholics...now I know why they do so well in school.
Three other couples met us there - and here I am walking in with Ling-Ling and now I really feel like we are on some kind of a date....things didn't get better while I was sitting there and the women were talking in Vietnamese. They then would ask me a question in English like, "you have gulfiend?" I answer no and then they would start talking in Vietnamese again - look at me - smile, and keep talking obviously talking about the Mexizilla single status that Ling-Ling had brought with her to the dance.
Good thing I was Asian in another lifetime because I loved the food and ate everything up and enjoyed myself overall....I thought about asking the waiter if he had any tortillas because that would go just perfect with the meat I was eating, but I don't speak Vietnamese and didn't want to ask my new friends to translate for me. The waiter pretended to speak English - I knew this because he would look at me whenever I talked to him and he would just smile at me with a blank stare until someone else said something in Vietnamese...he would then shake his head approving.
2 hours I had planned on staying out and I finally made it home 7 hours later and came to the realization that Asian people are weird.
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