The Mausen Party
If you work with me, then you know that I don't have a cubicle but rather an office with a window....well, let me just take this opportunity to rub it in your face while laughing at you as you sadly walk back to your pathetic cube.
Today I'm throwing what's called a Mausen Party...named after an ex-coworker. It's when you have booze in your office and everyone gets together for a crazy drunk orgy at the work place. Well, okay - no orgies, but its like happy hour before happy hour, and its at someone's office.
Good Times...Good Times
Every work place should have a Mausen Party.
Anyways, I usually have the Mausen Parties at my office. Today I was feeling extra spunky so I decided to clean my office up and impress my alcoholic co-workers by having a clean office.
So I start cleaning my office, cleaning stuff out....granted my office was pretty much already cleaned thanks to my 7 summer interns...those of you who work with me know that isn't true and that I'm exaggerating, because I only have 2 summer interns assisting me this year - which would be 2 more than you have ever had....and again, let me just take this opportunity to rub it in your face, because My Life Is Better Than Yours.
So as I'm cleaning I find four different species of spiders that I had no idea were living in my office while I vigorously typed away at my keyboard. I would catch them for Curly Top but I don't want to take them out of their natural environment of filth and disgust, aka: my office.
Under my desk I see a bag...hmmm, I don't recall what is in there...so I pull it. I look inside and it is one of my missing lunch containers. Oh good I think to myself as I open the container....which I quickly found out was a big mistake as the stench coming from the container knocked me back by four feet.
I open the other container thinking that this one couldn't possibly be as bad as the first one.....I was completely wrong with that assessment as what I believe use to be cantaloupe now had this green fuzzy appearance to it with a stench just as worse as the first container.
I start brainstorming what I could do with this wonderful lunch in a nice container. I still have yet to get the two Suckers back from the Leaking Tea Bags....but this would just be cruel....it would just be horrific ....nah, I couldn't do it. They'll have their time.....just not this time.
I take the two containers down stairs and stick them down in the garbage disposable ....I start thinking about how much money someone could pay me to actually eat this stuff but the smell was making me gag with convulsions, so I scratched that idea.
I quickly finish up and go back to cleaning my office.
1 Hour Later
5 Chicks and 2 guys are in my office...we're laughing having a good time.....I'm being the great Mausen Host like I should be keeping the Margarita cups filled, and the Vodka content high in the other mixed drinks.
KNOCK KNOCK
"Shit"...someone blurted out.
Silence quickly broke out and everyone starts scrambling and hiding drinks...two girls jump behind my door to hide while I lean over my desk and open my office door.
Only to find another chick.....GOOOOOOD TIMES INDEED!
I pour another drink and back to laughing and keeping the drinks filled.
It was a great party....I toast to Mausen....and I'm here to tell you that you need a Mausen Party as well.
I got an email with a subject line titled: ABB
I opened it up and it had a simple statement:
ABB = ANYONE BUT BUSH: Give Bush the boot in 2004!
Hmmm....interesting. Simple, and to the point...so I immediately shot my own email back titled: SYB
SYB - Shave Your Bush: Don't be fooled into thinking bush is good in any year
Very sorry to the blogs that I read that I haven't been able to get too. What I hate about not reading every single day, is that I get back logged and then I have to read a ton of posts and catch up on all my blogs that I enjoy reading. Which totally sucks, but eh, what can you do.
I do catch up on all posts though unless you're Ms. Chicken who blogs like a hooker hemorrhaging on the side of the road from a bad case of gonorrhea. She just celebrated her 500th post recently, so go give her a visit and laugh till you fart.
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