Fountain of Pee

 

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I took the 22nd off, aaaah, 22 - a magical number for me this week apparently. Anyways I took the 22nd off (Monday) and I had my 20 month old daughter with me, who will now be referred to as "Curly Top" and/or "Curly" hence forward. She woke up at the god awful hour of 6:30 in the morning and started calling out for me.

Daddy...

I stopped breathing just in case Curly Top could hear me.

Where's Daddy?

Then she starts chanting...

Dad-dy...Dad-dy....Dad-dy....Dad-dy...

Oh god....

Shala ne daddy....daddy me chickle chickle....OKAY!

What the hell did she say?

Dad-dy...Dad-dy...Dad-dy...


I push it to 7 a.m. then I finally get out of bed and go and get her. Nothing much was planned....eat breakfast watch "Follow That Bird" for the 739th time



Have her take her morning nap....get up to take a bath and get ready for our day. Then head over to the park to feed the ducks! Yay...for fun day.

So I start making some scrambled eggs while Curly was playing in the family room. She goes to the laundry room I figure to grab some books or something cause she love to read. A couple of minutes pass when I don't hear anything....parents out there know when there is silence something is wrong....SOMETHING IS VERY WRONG. Kids, especially your own, are never quiet.

So I turn off the stove, just in case Mr. Murphy is hiding out and I won't be able to get back to the stove, I go and check in the laundry room which also just so happens to be where her little toilet is. Low and behold, my little Curly Top was sitting on the pot pinchin a pipin hot loaf. The only problem to this little scenario was that she was still fully clothed.

I rushed over and quickly stripped her and put her back on the pot...half of it made it into the diaper and the other half in the pot. Not to bad cause I hate changing poopy diapers. I cleaned up and finish making breakfast. A few hours later I finally put her down for her morning nap. She woke up full of energy...if I had 1/4 of her energy I'd be happy....anyways, we get up from our nap (yes daddy napped too) to go to take a bubble bath......oh how my little Curly loves to take baths. I prepare everything and get her fully undressed and remove her diaper when the following took place.

Here's a play by play ..... or a step by step of the actual events that took place:

- I was holding Curly's hand
- Curly was chanting, "batshs....batshs....batshs...."
- With free hand I test water
- Curly was chanting
- I was not looking
- Curly stopped chanting
- I see Curly out of corner of eye not moving
- I spin around
- Curly has turned on Fountain of Pee
- My eyes bulge from my head
- Carpet getting soaked with urine
- Curly was concentrating
- I panicked
- I cupped hands under urine to catch
- Urine overflows in cupped hands
- Fountain of Pee stops
- I drop urine on carpet
- I wonder what the fuck I was thinking
- Curly turns Fountain of Pee on again
- I freeze
- Curly still concentrating
- I hold my breath
- Carpet really soaked with urine
- Fountain of Pee stops
- I start breathing again
- Curly starts chanting again, "batshs....batshs....batshs...."
- I come out of shock state
- Curly still chanting
- I put Curly in bath
- I take deep breaths
- Curly plays in bath

After I got her out of the bath and dried....I had to soak up the urine. Luckily for me it was on a bath mat and I was able to pick it up and take it immediately to be washed. Whew...what a morning.

At the end of the day, we had a great time at the Duck Pond and made some great memories.

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L is for the loud way you wake me each morning
O is for the odor emanating from your pants
V is for the vomit you left on the floor
E is for the energy you always have.

Kids.
gotta LOVE 'em.

Quote Courtesy of Bored House Wife

Thank you!