Let Me Shop Asshole
Last night I had to do some shopping so I head off to Albertson's grocery store. I have my 20 month old daughter with me and I'm carrying her up to the door. I see some dude with a clip board sitting at a table outside the door. Shit I silently say to myself as I look toward the other door to find a way in to the store so I don't have to talk to this prick who I don't know and pretend to be nice for the well being of my daughter and to make a good example for her.
I hate when people meet you at grocery stores!!! Don't fucking talk to me!!!! If I wanted companionship I'd visit E Harmony.com.
As my eyes focus on the other door I notice it is covered by a short Hispanic looking dude with a clip board. My eyes shift back to the door in front of me and the tall white guy who is guarding that door looks like a cartoon character where his pants are to short and he's wearing velcro shoes. Shit...maybe my goatee will scare the white guy off from talking to me if I look really pissed off. So I start walking up to the door to go shopping holding my 20 month old as I walk through the parking lot. The guy is sitting down at his table writing something and doesn't see me. YES!!! I can quickly sneak by and he won't bother me. My daughter being the talkative little person that she is, says hi....my eyes grow to the size of silver dollars as she says it louder since he didn't look up the first time. The white guy looks up and makes eye contact with me. SHIT!!!! Frantically trying to think of what I should do as I approach him the decision is made for me when he gets up and says hi back to my daughter and steps directly in my path to talk to me.
I look at my daughter and say, "Thanks you traitor" as she giggles at me. The guy then proceeds to tell me how they are obtaining signatures for a petition in regards to the California State 3 strikes you're out law. Which is, commit 3 felonies and get convicted of them, you're going away 25 years to life. The petition was to change the law so you only get the 25 years to life if the 3rd strike is a violent felony. So lets say you steal a couple thousand dollars which is a felony and you already have 2 strikes, you won't get the 25 years to life since the 3rd felony wasn't a violent one. So I'm sitting there listening to this prick talk trying to get my signature on this petition while I'm standing there holding my 30 pound daughter. My arms are getting tired and I'm getting really irritated.
Anyways, I don't want to sign the fucking petition cause I'm just really irritated and I tell him, "I don't want to sign".....he then begins to try to convince me that it is a good thing and that it isn't a law, we'd still have to vote and it is just a signature....blah ladee fucking blah....its not right for these people to get locked up for life for a minor felony....WHAT THE FUCK??????? A felony is a felony....here's some advice for you criminals out there....
STOP BREAKING THE FUCKING LAW ASSHOLES!!!!!!!
Now I'm really pissed off so I say, "Look, I'm tired, I have to shop still and I need to get my daughter home...so back your capri pants up and get out of my way." ....Okay I didn't say capri pants but I SHOULD HAVE!!! I came up with that line later when I was shopping. Dammit!!! I'll have to save that one for later.
Needless to say he didn't bother me on my way out even when my daughter waved to him and said "bye".
**Seacrest Out**
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