Fuck Me - I'm 1/4 Irish!
Happy St. Patrick's Day!!!!!
So tonight I'm going on a Party Bus to San Francisco to party it up with some friends. About 20 peeps are going right now and it will be a lot of fun. It will be the first time I've been out like this since I've been separated so it will be a really weird feeling. Only about 3 or 4 of the 20 people even know I'm separated which will be interesting how that will unfold tonight.
So if I'm making out with a really hot Irish chick...well, since I'll be drunk early in the night I'll be wearing beer goggles so she'll probably be really ugly and hairy...but who cares. I'll be making out with her and then get slapped by a co-worker cause they believe that I'm married and don't know that I'm separated.
Speaking of beer goggles and co-workers....there is such a thing as work goggles. "What do you mean Timmy? I don't get it."
Gather around my gentle readers as I explain....
We all have the ability to rate someone when we see them or get to know them based on physical appearance and whether or not we'd sleep with them. The rating system could consist of something similar:
Using said rating system when one is drunk, you automatically add 5 points. I.E. someone who is a 2 (doable) when you first meet them sober actually becomes a 7 (cute) when one is shit faced drunk. When someone is a 7 (cute) sober, they go off the fucking charts when said person gets pissed drunk. Do you see how that works? Now, we all might know about it, but it is never explained in a kick ass way like I just did, and you are probably sitting there saying to yourself...TIMMY FUCKIN ROCKS! .....yes I know, but thanks for confirming.
Soooooo, what the hell is Work Goggles? Well, it has the same principle as Beer Goggles only instead of adding by 5, you add by 2, I mean shit you ain't drunk and an ugly person is an ugly person. But, you do work with them so on those days that you are extremely horny you start picking attractive things out in people you would never even imagine doing anything with. Someone you consider a 1 (unattractive) all of a sudden becomes a 3 (decent) based on the fact that they have great eyes or something similar. Someone who is a 5 (nice) becomes a 7 (cute).....do you see the trend? Do you understand how dangerous sleeping with anyone while wearing goggles can be?
This thus concludes our session for today.
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