Bipolar Midget Clones
I've always wanted a midget as a pet. I think that would be like the most awesome thing on this planet besides me. You could make them do your chores and have conversations with them. You could play with their fat little fingers while they giggle and tell each other jokes.
That would so rock.
However, since apparently they are like human with feelings or something, I'm not "technically" allowed to have a midget as a pet. So what is a tall Mexican with a Clark Gable smile in flip-flops supposed to do?
Clone himself thats what.
However, I ran into another problem when I looked into that scenario. Apparently cloning is against the law based on some bullshit like morals or something.
So now I'm left with no midget, and no clone. Sometimes life is cruel....and yet, sometimes life is great because I have Curly Top!
Because Curly Top is tiny, she's like a midget, and she looks like me (not really but I tell myself 17 times a day that she looks like me so I can convince myself of same), its like having a midget clone! So basically, I have a little midget clone all because I just so happened to grab the condom that had tiny pin pricks in it.
Though I was pissed that the condom even had tiny pin pricks in it at all, I'm happy now with my midget clone. Now I have time for important stuff like, playing video games, and gazing at myself in the mirror, you know, the essentials of life because I make her do all my household chores.
And in return, I let the midget clone paint my face.
Speaking of my birthday.....
**interrupt**
TIMMY! your birthday was on Sunday, stop talking about it...sheesh, you talked about it the week leading up to your day, and now what? We have to sit through you talking about your birthday the week after? Come on!!! Talk about something else. You're 26 for God's sake, birthday's aren't that important after 21.
Okay first of all, never interrupt me again or I will stab you in the forearm with a paperclip.
Secondly, this is my fucking website and I will talk about whatever I want, including, but not limited to, midgets as pets, cloning, Curly Top, how women shouldn't be allowed to vote, black balls, crotchety old women who smell like decomposing B.O., Mexicans and why they mow my lawn, boobies, how I want women to cook my steak, why Taco Bell food looks like diarrhea wrapped in a tortilla, the 237 reasons why ugly people suck ass, herpes and why that disease rocks, stuck up no rhythm white people, Christopher Reeves-the man of wheels, Tamales and why I love the Tamale Lady, my dashingly Clark Gable smile and my Cary Grant good looks, tomatoes, and of course....my fucking birthday.
Okay? You got that?
So just sit there at your desk with your pathetic life and read my Kick Ass Nobody Rocks Like Me Blog and you will be entertained.
Now where was I?......
Dammit!
Now you got me all fucking worked up and I can't remember what I was going to say.
It's assholes like you that ruin it for everyone else.
Horseshit!!!!
I need to go grab an 83 year old Asian woman from the driver seat of a car and kick her in the crotch to feel better now.
Thank you...I hope you feel good about yourself knowing that an 83 year old Asian women driver has to suffer now because of your inconsiderate and selfish request asshole.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
Ummmm......I'll be launching my new additions to my website as I have finished the main page finally.
I'm like stho sthmart.
I have an entire new addition that will prove that I am definitely bipolar and I need to be on some kind of medication. I'll also have a section updated every Friday that you will enjoy. You might not be able to look at it at work, but at least it'll be there.
Just to let you know I'll be scripting all my pictures so you can see all the pictures I've used on my blog without having to go through all the archives, but that will take me time. So don't stop having sex waiting on me cause it might be awhile. Keep slapping those sweaty bodies together trying to make midget clones.
I was hoping to unveil the main page last Friday for my birthday but I hit some snags. So hopefully it'll be this Friday, as long as my shipment of viagra comes in by Thursday from my Tio in Mexico I shouldn't have a problem getting it up on Friday.
Oh yeah!! I remember what I was going to say about my birthday......does anyone have a problem with me talking about my birthday now?
No?
Good.
I want to share with you the best birthday card....no, the best card period that I have ever received in the entire Universe, it also helps that the person giving it to me is Tamale Lady beautiful, and she even wore knee high boots the other day so it was like a perfect birthday present....
click it to read the inside:
That would so rock.
However, since apparently they are like human with feelings or something, I'm not "technically" allowed to have a midget as a pet. So what is a tall Mexican with a Clark Gable smile in flip-flops supposed to do?
Clone himself thats what.
However, I ran into another problem when I looked into that scenario. Apparently cloning is against the law based on some bullshit like morals or something.
So now I'm left with no midget, and no clone. Sometimes life is cruel....and yet, sometimes life is great because I have Curly Top!
Because Curly Top is tiny, she's like a midget, and she looks like me (not really but I tell myself 17 times a day that she looks like me so I can convince myself of same), its like having a midget clone! So basically, I have a little midget clone all because I just so happened to grab the condom that had tiny pin pricks in it.
Though I was pissed that the condom even had tiny pin pricks in it at all, I'm happy now with my midget clone. Now I have time for important stuff like, playing video games, and gazing at myself in the mirror, you know, the essentials of life because I make her do all my household chores.
And in return, I let the midget clone paint my face.
Speaking of my birthday.....
**interrupt**
TIMMY! your birthday was on Sunday, stop talking about it...sheesh, you talked about it the week leading up to your day, and now what? We have to sit through you talking about your birthday the week after? Come on!!! Talk about something else. You're 26 for God's sake, birthday's aren't that important after 21.
Okay first of all, never interrupt me again or I will stab you in the forearm with a paperclip.
Secondly, this is my fucking website and I will talk about whatever I want, including, but not limited to, midgets as pets, cloning, Curly Top, how women shouldn't be allowed to vote, black balls, crotchety old women who smell like decomposing B.O., Mexicans and why they mow my lawn, boobies, how I want women to cook my steak, why Taco Bell food looks like diarrhea wrapped in a tortilla, the 237 reasons why ugly people suck ass, herpes and why that disease rocks, stuck up no rhythm white people, Christopher Reeves-the man of wheels, Tamales and why I love the Tamale Lady, my dashingly Clark Gable smile and my Cary Grant good looks, tomatoes, and of course....my fucking birthday.
Okay? You got that?
So just sit there at your desk with your pathetic life and read my Kick Ass Nobody Rocks Like Me Blog and you will be entertained.
Now where was I?......
Dammit!
Now you got me all fucking worked up and I can't remember what I was going to say.
It's assholes like you that ruin it for everyone else.
Horseshit!!!!
I need to go grab an 83 year old Asian woman from the driver seat of a car and kick her in the crotch to feel better now.
Thank you...I hope you feel good about yourself knowing that an 83 year old Asian women driver has to suffer now because of your inconsiderate and selfish request asshole.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
Ummmm......I'll be launching my new additions to my website as I have finished the main page finally.
I'm like stho sthmart.
I have an entire new addition that will prove that I am definitely bipolar and I need to be on some kind of medication. I'll also have a section updated every Friday that you will enjoy. You might not be able to look at it at work, but at least it'll be there.
Just to let you know I'll be scripting all my pictures so you can see all the pictures I've used on my blog without having to go through all the archives, but that will take me time. So don't stop having sex waiting on me cause it might be awhile. Keep slapping those sweaty bodies together trying to make midget clones.
I was hoping to unveil the main page last Friday for my birthday but I hit some snags. So hopefully it'll be this Friday, as long as my shipment of viagra comes in by Thursday from my Tio in Mexico I shouldn't have a problem getting it up on Friday.
Oh yeah!! I remember what I was going to say about my birthday......does anyone have a problem with me talking about my birthday now?
No?
Good.
I want to share with you the best birthday card....no, the best card period that I have ever received in the entire Universe, it also helps that the person giving it to me is Tamale Lady beautiful, and she even wore knee high boots the other day so it was like a perfect birthday present....
click it to read the inside:
)
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