Ruffle My Hair & Spank My Pancakes
**shoooosh**
**tick dak**
**shoooosh**
PLAY
Volume UP
Rise & Shine, and give God the glory glory
Rise & Shine, and give God the glory glory
RISE & SHINE and {clap} give God the Glory Glory, Children, of the Lord
"What the fuck is that bullshit?" I ask myself as I turn over in bed. The music seems to be getting louder as I try my hardest to ignore it and go back to my wet dream.
Rise & Shine, and give God the glory glory
Rise & Shine, and give God the glory glory
RISE & SHINE and {clap} give God the Glory Glory, Children, of the Lord
"Mother fucker," I whisper to myself as I start to get up. I can't have wet orgy dreams with that holy moly music blaring in the background. I sit up in bed wiping away the eye boogers feeling like I have a slight hangover. Hearing my mom belt out the lyrics of gospel music from the kitchen certainly wasn't helping my current situation of wanting to sleep more to continue my wet dream.
I throw some shorts on and a t-shirt and stumble out to the kitchen. "Why the fuck do you play that shit mom?" Is what I was thinking, but I said, "Good Morning Mother, glad to see you so happy in the morning singing wonderful praises to the Lord" instead.
You see, I was spanked with regularity growing up. I know shocking, but I sassed my mom a lot, and thus, got spankings and/or timeouts. I quickly learned though, that provoking my little sister to do stupid things that got her in trouble was very amusing to myself. My mom then learned of what I was doing, and it took me awhile to realize that provoking my sister only got me into more trouble.
I was deathly afraid of spankings, I would rather take a timeout than a spanking as I would be sent to my room and I could play with my transformers or micro-machine cars for hours on end forgetting I was even being punished. It was like paradise. My little sister couldn't bother me and life was good during those timeouts.
That all changed when my brother, who is 10 years older than me, gave me the grand advice of telling me to take a spanking instead of a timeout cause it's over in seconds and thus I'd be able to go outside and play. Hmmm, intriguing concept.
My dad was almost home and my mom was cooking in the kitchen.
I poked my sister with my finger.
She pinched me.
I poked her again and quickly make my way to the kitchen and just like I planned, she followed me.
She pinched me right in front of my mom as she cooked. I screamed and started rubbing my forearm where blood was starting to ooz out. My mom turns around and I promptly announce, "She Pinched Me!"
My sister cuts in, "He was poking me!"
My mom puts her hands on her hips in a June Cleaver from Leave It To Beaver type of way and tells my little sister to go sit in the living room corner for a time out.
A little blood and I get the joy of watching my sister get punished. Muahahahaha
Nobody Rocks Like Me.
Then my mom turns to me and tells me to go stand in the corner. I started in, "Yeah but..."
My mom cuts me off and says, "There are no 'yeahbuts' in this house."
It was my 3rd strike of the day, and I was going to be in for a long timeout.
Spankings are over in seconds, take the spanking, take the spanking I thought to myself, the words flowed out of my mouth as smooth as Johnny Depp putting down America in France, "Mom, I'll take a spanking instead."
"Well, I'm cooking but your dad will be home any minute, go to our room and wait for him."
OH SHIT!
It fucking backfired. Now I'm scared as shit, for I have awoken a sleeping giant.
"Yeah but..."
"There are no 'yeahbuts' in this house. Now go to our room and prepare for your spanking."
I hear my sister giggling in the corner. I can't believe this. I start repeating the phrase, "Over In Seconds....Over In Seconds...." as I walk to my parents room to wait for my father. My brother has to be right....he's 20, and he knows everything.
He's my hero.
I quickly sneak into my room and put on two extra pairs of underwear. My mom wanted me to prepare by going to her room, think about what I had done, and to think about not ever doing it again. Well shit, I live in the real world and I knew by tomorrow I'd be provoking my sister again, so I was preparing for today by putting on extra pairs of underwear.
I go and sit in my parents room waiting for my dad repeating silently to myself, "Over in seconds....over in seconds....over in seconds."
I hear the front door open.
I hear my parents talking to each other but I can't make out what is being said.
I quickly think about escaping through the french doors in my parents room and living in the back yard for the rest of my life. I could sneak into the house at night and eat. They would never know.
The fantasy of escaping and Robin Crusoe it in my back yard without my parents knowing vanished as I heard the foot steps of my dad walking down the hallway.
He's only 5'6 but he seemed like a giant to me at 10 years old and his foot steps were heavy.
**Toosh**
**Toosh**
**Toosh**
**Toosh**
I see the door handle jiggling and the nob turning.
**Click**
**Eeeeeeewin**
There he stood. All 5'6" of him. The Mexican Danny DeVito.
"Hello son."
Silently saying "over in seconds" immediately turned into a blubbering "I'm soooooo sorry dad, please don't spank me....oh please. I won't do it again."
"This is going to hurt me more than it is going to hurt you."
If that's the case, let me beat the shit out of you...I mean, I'm the one that is being punished.
He tells me to turn around and put my hands on the bed. My eyes are so filled with tears that I can barely make out the bed to place my hands on it.
Then I hear THE Sound.
The God awful sound that every child knows.
The sound of the belt being pulled out from the belt loops from the pants.
**Whop**
**Whop**
**Whop**
**Whop**
**Whop**
**SNAP!**
I take one last look at the window through my tears to catch a glimpse of the world before I die.
Over in seconds had turned into a night of misery.
I learned valuable lessons on that memorable day.
I learned that I need to put on more than two pair of extra underwear the next time I was to be spanked. I learned that I need to punch my sister and not poke her. Lessons that have forever been engraved into my conscious.
Over in seconds he said...over in seconds. Well I stand before you today my gentle readers, to tell you that my 20 year old hero brother was a fucking liar. Over in seconds he said. The damn pain lasted all night. He's an asshole.
<< Home