Dear Timmy...

 

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Brenda you are not old...cut the shit would ya? And I'm glad you love it here. heh

Pisser I'll pork your yok anytime. By the way, I saw a commercial for the Daytime Emmy awards and I thought of you. Sweet huh? I know, I'm sweet like that.

Jerky thank you so much for the info on Kalua!!! That's it!!! And I only have a large female audience because I've hypnotized most of them into thinking I'm a really sweet caring wonderfully unselfish man.

Diana - sorry about the link pictures. Weird, they work for everyone else, but I know it still must be my fault since I'm a guy. I was married, I know how it works.

Kat - Poi, Soy...it doesn't matter as I won't be trying it that's for sure.

Special K - Poi is made from pulverized taro, FYI that sounds well, gross. I think I'll pass on the Poi thank you very much.

Tiff & Brooke - yes, Curly Top loves to groove...she knew how to dance before she could walk. And I'll look up some links so you guys can maybe go to a Hawaiian Festival near you.

Houston thanks for the wet dreams you gave me when you described the coconut-less hula girls of the early 1800's. Hmm, was that to much info? lol

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{Q}

DEAR TIMMY,

My co-worker's 20-year-old son recently committed suicide. His mother was a single parent and the young man had long-standing emotional problems.

We are a department of about 20, and all her co-workers felt heartsick for her. All of us contributed toward the funeral spray.

When the funeral arrangements were finalized, the information was e-mailed to only about half of us. The rest -- including me -- were not invited.

While it is true that a grieving mother is justified in doing whatever makes her comfortable, I feel my feelings were not considered at all. I am deeply hurt that my gesture of sympathy was unappreciated.

Signed,
SLIGHTED IN CLEVELAND


[ Whether you're searching for Mr. Toilet Seat Down or Ms. Swallow, or if you just need sound advice, relationship and general bullshit expert Timmy is here. ]


{A}

DEAR CUNT,

You have every right to be upset and feeling left out after a grieving mother who lost her only son in a horrific way did not invite you. You probably also signed the office card of sympathy, I mean really, who does she think she is? How could she not invite you? How could she only invite those that she felt closet to when she buried her child?

You should feel unappreciated, because at the funeral that you helped pay for, there will probably be dancing and all the dorritos you can eat and you will be missing out on that.

What the fuck is wrong with you?

It's blood sucking selfish vampires like yourself that help deteriorate our society as a whole by being a cancer to it.

I hope you choke on a chicken and die you worthless cunt.

~ TIMMY