Boobalicious Hula Girls

 

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First let me point out that my drawing was inspired by none other than the fabulously talented Special K. If you haven’t gone to her site, you need to get your asses over there pronto!


Last weekend I went to a Hawaiian Festival. Anyone who knows me, knows that I love the ocean, beaches, islands and I'm always in flip-flops. I had Curly Top with me for the day, so I thought that Curly would really enjoy the dancing so off we went to the Hawaiian Festival!

We arrived and the atmosphere was amazing! A fun and up beat feeling was in the air as Island Music played. Everyone seemed happy and not many white people were around. That was sorta different, now they were the minorities....MUAHAHAHAHAHA

Island girls wearing short skirts and small tops where everywhere. It was like I stepped into Island Heaven. The guys there were typically "fluffy". That's the politically correct term. And in case you were wondering, there are 5 levels of fatness:

Big Bone
Heavy
Husky
Fluffy
and
DAAAAAAMN

DAAAAAAMN level is when you go to a restaurant and you can't fit in the booth and the little kid across the way says, "DAAAAAAMN". You definitely don't want to be in the level of "DAAAAAAMN", and if you are, then you are on the brink of death and should do something.

Speaking of fluffy people, I went and bought some Hawaiian Pork...I forget the actual name of it and I'm to lazy to look it up, but I'm sure someone out there knows and we'll enlighten us with their knowledge. The pork was soooooooooo good it melted in my mouth like a sweet flower. My mouth is watering from just thinking about it.

After our little meal I took Curly Top to go get our seats for the dance show. It was a great day, about 85 degrees (29c) and a group was playing on stage singing various Hawaiian songs.

After about 20 mintues of listening to the Hawaiian songs, I started getting sleepy from sitting in the sun but all of a sudden, the beats changed and the rhythm picked up! The dancers finally came out and first lets talk about the guy dancers. They were basically naked, and all the chicks were whistling. I tried to cover Curly Top's eyes but being almost two she wouldn't have any of that and promptly removed my hand so she can see the half naked dancers move faster than a monkey on crack.

These guys were amazing, yes, they were jumping around like a midget clown at a circus and I got a cramp in my leg from watching them, but they were on rhythm with the music.....truly amazing stuff.

Some other women dancers came on and it was fun watching them tell stories with the arms as they hula. I didn't know what they were saying, but it sure was cool. Curly Top got up on the steps and started moving her arms like a big wind mill and shaking her hips, mimicking the dancers. She has amazing Cuban motion and that my gentle readers, makes me proud. For she can look exactly like her mom, but she has daddy's Cuban motion!!!

Then a new set of beats came on very fast rhythm...

la ba boom boom la ba boom boom la ba boom boom

The Tahitian Dancers came out in grass skirts and coconut boobalicious tops. Crowds typically enjoy Tahitian dancing more as it seems impossible to see someone that can actually shake their hips and asses so fast. Not to mention that the Tahitian costumes are much more flamboyant, and let me tell you when I say, grass skirts and coconut boobalicious tops were all I needed to be happy.

la ba boom boom la ba boom boom la ba boom boom

I was drooling like Christopher Reeves watching these amazing women shake their hips faster than Michael J. Fox. I couldn't find a single ugly chick in the group either.

I bet auditions went something like this:

"You dance amazing, but you're uglier than the only drunk skank at a bar when the lights come on for closing...sorry, NEXT!"

Or something similar.

It was truly amazing. These women moved so fast....and it was just their hips and asses. Their hands were doing something, but basically they were just getting in my way of viewing the amazing hip action and the fantastic boobalicious coconuts.

Curly Top & I had a great time!!!

I came to the realization that I need to find a Tahitian Dancer and get her really drunk so I can offer to driver her home.